GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regula…
World
Macron credits French election win to being “marginally better than fascism”
PARIS – Emmanuel Macron has defeated Marine Le Pen to win 5 more years as President of France, and credits his victory to representing an “almost negligible improvement over the only other …
Sleeping cat literally has no idea how clue how close it is to nuclear annihilation
LUNENBURG, NS – Despite tensions increasing across the globe as Russian president Vladimir Putin again promised swift retaliation and total nuclear annihilation should NATO forces intervene…
Poll asking Canadians what we should do in Ukraine reveals majority of Canadians not military strategists
OTTAWA – A poll asking Canadians what our country and its military allies should do to halt Russia’s invasion of Ukraine has revealed that an overwhelming number of Canadians are not …
Roll up the Rim is back and so is the threat of nuclear winter!
VANCOUVER, BC – Canadians are in for a treat this week with the return of two beloved national pastimes: Tim Horton’s Roll up the Rim contest – and also worrying about the devastating outco…
Ukrainian President achieves incredible feat of making being a comedian look cool
KYIV — After bravely turning down an evacuation offer from the U.S. in order to fight for his country’s freedom and quickly gaining a reputation as a defiant, inspiring leader, former comic…
Putin treats himself to a few war crimes he’s had his eye on
MOSCOW – Following yet another exhausting year of ruling with brutal autocracy, Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly decided to reward himself with a few war crimes – namel…
Anti-vaccine convoys replace maple syrup as Canada’s number one export
OTTAWA – For the first time since Confederation, the top spot on the list of Canadian exports has shifted from the sweet syrup of the mighty maple tree to anti-vaccine, anti-government, pro…
As Russia prepares to invade Ukraine, West rapidly deploys stockpile of vague condemnations
BRUSSELS – In light of Russia’s aggressive military buildup near the Ukrainian border, Western nations have ordered their stockpiles of vague condemnations to be placed at the highest…
Putin unsure if he’s in mood for Cold War or World War
MOSCOW – As a mustered force of 100,000 Russian soldiers stands by at the Ukrainian border, Russian President Vladimir Putin was reportedly spotted at his Novo-Ogaryevo residence debating t…
