LAGOS – Months after being rescued from an air-pocket in an Atlantic shipwreck, Nigerian cook Harrison Odjegba Okene has decided that he’s not cut out for life on the “outside” anymore. “Th…
World
Wikileaks Secret Santa ends prematurely when identity of Secret Santa is posted online
THE INTERNET – What started as an effort to boost the morale of the activists who make up Wikileaks turned into a disaster Thursday when the details of the website’s Secret Santa gift excha…
World Vision to throw in free poor child if you sponsor 5 or more goats
Monrovia, CA – One of the world’s largest christian aid programs is offering its donors the free gift of an impoverished child when you adopt 5 or more goats for his or her village. “We are…
EU officials celebrate upholding Canadian seal product ban with foie gras meal
BRUSSELS – Members of the European Trade Commission gorged on fattened duck liver to to celebrate the WTO’s decision to uphold the ban on Canadian seal products. “We’re pleased to hear that…
NSA Scandal: Angela Merkel disappointed wiretaps didn’t teach Americans how to run an economy
BERLIN – When Angela Merkel learned that the NSA was listening to her phone calls, she wasn’t upset by American spying and lying, she was incensed by President Obama’s failure to glean any …
Canadian navy warship contributes to drug bust by not sinking
HALIFAX – HMCS Preserver made the difference in a cocaine bust in the Caribbean Sea by staying afloat earlier this week. “The Royal Canadian Navy demonstrated professionalism and hard work …
Putin celebrates Nobel Peace Prize nomination by eating the hearts of his enemies
RUSSIA – Russian president Vladmir Putin’s peacekeeping efforts earned him a Nobel Prize nomination last week, prompting a presidential celebration that left six Chechnyan rebel leaders dea…
The Tea Party won’t back down until someone tells them what they are fighting for
WASHINGTON – Members of the Tea Party Caucus have informed Americans that they will not vote to end the government shut down until it is made absolutely clear to them what exactly they are being …
NSA asks Americans to eavesdrop on each other during government shutdown
WASHINGTON – With the US government shut down, the National Security Agency is appealing to Americans to monitor the activity and conversations of their family, neighbors, colleagues and foreign …
Jack Ryan to avenge Tom Clancy’s death
BALTIMORE – After the passing of renowned author of several espionage and military thrillers, CIA analyst Jack Ryan is vowing revenge on whoever killed him. “Tom was one of my most trusted …
