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World
Problem no longer in the news probably solved by now
NORTH AMERICA – After dropping out of the 24-hour news cycle several months ago, mainstream media experts are reporting that all problems across the world have been solved by now, probably.…
Settlers of Catalan declare independence, free ore and sheep for all
CATALONIA — Citizens of the Catalan region have voted to declare independence from Spain, while also promising free resource cards for all settlers. Thousands of settlers took to the street…
Japan green-lights “Gundam Seinfeld” as revenge for every shitty US anime remake
TOKYO – Earlier today the nation of Japan formally vocalized its displeasure after years of seeing countless beloved anime features ruined by Hollywood produced live-action remakes, and sta…
Donald Trump addresses UN General Assembly with face covered in wing sauce
NEW YORK – US President Donald Trump gave his much anticipated first speech to the United Nations General Assembly Tuesday, and while the speech was historic in content, it will primarily b…
God sick of shutting all these doors and opening all these fucking windows
Heaven – The omnipresent being that created all of existence is reportedly growing tired of shutting multiple doors for humans and then being expected to also open a corresponding window. “…
Tourist arrested for not practicing ancient Incan selfie ritual at Machu Picchu
CUSCO, PERU – A 24-year old Canadian tourist was arrested on Tuesday for failing to practice the ancient Incan tradition of performing a selfie at the Machu Picchu ruins, the most photograp…
Best Eclipse Ever! The sun hasn’t been seen for 27 hours
WORLDWIDE – Y’all, the party of the decade, century, and millennium is still going strong as the total solar eclipse enters its 28th hour. Temperatures have fallen by about 10 degrees, but …
Guide To: Australia
Thinking of visiting Canada’s 11th province?…
Australian senator who denied knowing about Canadian citizenship makes suspicious, Canadian-like apology
CANBERRA – An Australian senator who announced her resignation after discovering her dual-citizenship has made a very suspicious, Canadian-sounding apology. Green MP Larissa Waters claimed …
