WASHINGTON — After calling for airstrikes on three government sites in Syria, President Trump is reportedly most excited about the prospect of denying refugee status to the untold Syrian ci…
World
National Pride: Tim Hortons cup represents Canada in Great Pacific garbage patch
PACIFIC OCEAN – A Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win Tim Hortons cup has been discovered in the Pacific Ocean’s giant garbage vortex, indicating that Canada is adequately represented among polluting na…
Vladimir Putin suspected of colluding with Russians to win election
MOSCOW – In a victory speech today, Vladimir Putin staunchly denied any collusion with Russians to aid his campaign, allegations which have cast a dark shadow on his decisive 4th election w…
Indian PM promises to dress up like a Mountie, bring a convicted FLQ terrorist the next time he visits Canada
DELHI – Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi plans on reciprocating Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s efforts at embracing culture by dressing up as a Mountie and inviting a con…
Pope Francis urges journalists to search for truth, but not like in that “Spotlight” movie
THE HOLY SEE — In his annual address, Pope Francis denounced “fake news” and urged journalists to search for the truth, then clarified, “but not like in that Spotlight movie.” The Pope was …
Nuclear scientists move doomsday clock to “drinkin’ time”
CHICAGO, IL – In response to the new nuclear posture of the United States, along with the lack of evidence based decision making mechanisms in place, the members of the Bulletin of the Atom…
Ghanaian child annoyed with helicopter sponsor parent’s constant letters
ACCRA, GH – Ten-year-old sponsor child Yoofi Nkrumah is reportedly tired of the constant nagging and micromanaging of his helicopter sponsor parent. Helen Gladstone from Toronto has been bu…
Palestinians recognize Texas as part of Mexico
JERUSALEM – In response to US President Donald Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as the Israeli capital, the Palestinian National Authority has announced that it will recognize Texas as a st…
After Olympic ban, Russia to stick to cheating at the foreign election level
LAUSANNE, SUI – In the wake of the International Olympic Committee’s ban on Russian athletes at next year’s Winter Olympics for doping, The Russian Federation announced that it will return …
Hello! Magazine airdrops 200,000 emergency copies to Yemeni refugees to spread word on Harry and Meghan’s engagement
ADDIS ABABA – Relief for desperate Yemeni refugees is on its way with over 200,000 copies of Hello! Magazine being airdropped containing much needed news on the engagement of Prince Harry a…
