LONDON — While in London on an official state visit, US President Donald Trump failed to recognize that Buckingham Palace had sent the cast of Netflix’s The Crown in place of the actual Roy…
World
Volunteer announces plan to build white saviour complex in Africa
TORONTO – In a well meaning attempt to uphold and reinforce neo-colonialism, volunteer Rebecca “Becky” Smith-Anderson has submitted a proposition to build a white saviour complex somewhere …
Modern-day Nazi hunter thought job would be harder
VANCOUVER – Modern day Nazi hunter Jim Smith has confirmed to reporters that he honestly thought his job would take a lot more effort in 2019. Smith, who joins a long tradition of committed activ…
Other famous political assassinations by milkshakes
With the recent murder of Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage by milkshake, the dangerous dairy beverage has been a popular weapon of choice for political assassins throughout history. Here are some…
New royal baby already accomplished everything in life he is expected to
LONDON – Swiftly following the birth of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first child, Buckingham Palace spokespeople confirmed that he has already achieved all goals, objectives, and purposes exp…
Catholic Church assures billionaires that none of their Notre Dame donations will go to poor
VATICAN CITY — Speaking to the handful of billionaires, CEO’s, and corporations that had immediately donated billions of dollars to rebuild the burned Notre Dame Cathedral, Pope Francis ass…
Brexit deadline officially pushed back to Claire Danes’ birthday
LONDON – The EU has granted the UK’s request to push the deadline for Brexit from its previous date of March 29 to April 12, the birthday of American actor Claire Danes. “This added time wi…
Local man starting to suspect it’s too late to ask what Brexit is
Brandon, MB – Local man Steven Bach is getting the feeling that the time to figure out what Brexit actually is has long since passed. “I saw on the news that the UK government might fall du…
Prince Philip still refuses to give up pilot’s license
LONDON – Despite voluntarily surrendering his driving permit after a recent vehicle accident, Prince Philip is still racking up solo hours by flying throughout the country. Buckingham Palac…
China unveils new tourism slogan, ‘Come and you’ll never be able to leave’
BEIJING – After a wave of Canadian citizens were suddenly and permanently relocated to China, the country’s Ministry of Culture and Tourism has unveiled an exciting new slogan, ‘Come and you’ll n…
