ASHTABULA, OH – Ashtabula middle school students left on a field trip to Toronto this morning in an effort to see the northern nation’s capital city. “I’ll tell ya, it’s m…
U.S.
NSA Thinks You Should E-Mail Your Mother More Often
WASHINGTON – Following the disclosure of their secret surveillance program, PRISM, sources inside the NSA have expressed concern that you’re not e-mailing your mother enough. “Your mother s…
FBI blames ultra-right conservative-anarchist North Korean Christian domestic terror cell that looks kind of Middle Easty
BOSTON – FBI investigators have definitively concluded that the bombings at the Boston Marathon were orchestrated by a fundamentalist Islamic terrorist cell supported by Kim Jong Un’s oppressive …
NRA branching out to appeal to more casual psychos
FAIRFAX, VA – The National Rifle Association announced today that it will make bold leaps with its marketing efforts in order to branch out and appeal to more casual psychopaths. “While the NRA h…
Antitrust Investigation reveals Westboro Baptist Church actually a subsidiary of Disney
ORLANDO – A recent investigation by the US Department of Justice has revealed that the deplorable hate group known as the “Westboro Baptist Church” is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the marginally …
CNN anchor sad for CNN’s suffering caused by teen’s rape
ATLANTA, GA – A CNN anchor described the sorry fate of the company she works for on Monday after watching it get barraged with protests by the public and the media for its coverage of the s…
Incorrigible Obama cheats on ‘No Drone Strikes’ New Year’s resolution
WASHINGTON – In spite of its inclusion in his New Year’s vow to cut back on personal indulgences, President Obama has been unable to kick the habit of repeatedly bombing Pakistan with robot…
Smokey Bear killed in home fireworks accident
PARK COUNTY, WY – On Friday night well-known forest preservation and fire safety advocate Smokey Bear was killed in a home fireworks accident. At about 9:30 pm, Smokey was with his family s…
NRA suggests nation’s kindergarteners bring their assault rifles to class
WASHINGTON – In the wake of the second deadliest school shooting in US history at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., the National Rifle Association has recommended that every single e…
