UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Upon the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are just waking up to the fact that they could have installed anyone they wanted in office, up to and includ…
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U.S. Joint Chiefs caught buying book on how to stage military coups
Only one day after Donald Trump’s inauguration, several members of the U.S. Joint Chiefs Of Staff were spotted today at a Washington area Barnes and Nobel purchasing a copy of “How To Stage…
Mike Pence takes moment during VP oath to lecture Ruth Bader Ginsburg on length of her robes
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – During the crowning moment of his political career, Vice President-elect Mike Pence decided to take a moment during his oath of office to explain why the length of Ru…
America opts for open-casket inauguration
WASHINGTON DC – As per America’s wishes, today’s presidential inauguration ceremony will be open-casket. Funeral Director Kellyanne Conway decided to have the public viewing so that the wor…
The Beaverton’s Inauguration Coverage
The Beaverton’s Marilla Wex reports live from Washington DC with breaking inauguration coverage. Up first, Donald Trump has interrupted the Arlington Wreath Laying Ceremony to plug his new…
Donald Trump to be sworn in by actor dressed like his father saying he’s proud of him
WASHINGTON – President-elect Donald Trump will make history this Friday, when he is both sworn in and assured he has made his father proud, by an actor portraying the late Fred Trump. “The …
Guide To: Inauguration Day
The Beaverton begins our coverage of the presidential inauguration.…
Appearance at Trump inauguration completes Caitlyn Jenner’s transition to total asshole
LOS ANGELES – Reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner announced this week that she will appear at President-elect Donald Trump’s January 20th inauguration ceremony, completing her highly publicized transi…
Trump cements job creator status by booking Three Doors Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States president-elect Donald Trump delivered this week on his campaign promise to put unemployed Americans back to work by hiring the country’s single least-employable …
Poor Americans saved from tyranny of government healthcare by rich Americans with government healthcare
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Senate voted 51-48 this week to open debate on a budget resolution that Republicans hope will free working class Americans from the tyranny of having to use t…
