WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Republicans told reporters this afternoon that they are excited to actually read the text of the American Health Care Act, which they just voted 217 – 212 to …
U.S.
Senate Republicans divided on Trump’s plan to kill us all
WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans remained divided Monday, as a vote neared on President Trump’s controversial proposal to kill everyone on earth. The proposed “Liquidation Of All Human Life Act…
Troubled state executed several small animals before moving on to people
ARKANSAS – Consultation of public records has revealed that several executed animals were found in areas near where the state of Arkansas would later go on to kill human beings. “Violence t…
Donald Trump Jr. killed in drive-by revenge shooting by elephants
Mar-A-Lago, FL – Tragedy struck the First Family today, when Donald Trump Jr. died of his injuries shortly after being riddled with bullets by a group of elephants in a Cadillac 4×4. “…
Trump’s 100th day gala celebrated “longest ever” presidential term
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump skipped the White House correspondents’ dinner this weekend, opting instead to hold a rally celebrating his 100th day in office – the “longest ever term…
Celebrated dealmaker Donald Trump trades Alaska back to Russia in exchange for beans
Anchorage, AK – American President Donald Trump has made a deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin that would give the state of Alaska, purchased by the United States in 1867, back to Ru…
Huge Misstep: Is Trump over now that he’s angered Canadian dairy producers?
Unbelievable. It turns out that picking a fight with one of the most powerful and beloved institutions in the world might finally be the thing that brings down Donald Trump. “As a nationalist, I …
Beloved character ‘Alex Jones’ jumps shark with child custody storyline
DALLAS, TX – In a jarring plot twist, beloved series InfoWars has locked its star character “Alex Jones” in a bitter legal battle for custody of his son and two daughters for the past several; ep…
Unhinged authoritarian son of privilege plans missile launch against same
WASHINGTON/ PYONGYANG — Reports indicate that an egomaniacal dynastic head of state with a tenuous grip on reality is planning to launch missiles at essentially the exact same person from a…
Mike Flynn offers to testify in exchange for immunity to dioxin poisoning
WASHINGTON – The former national security adviser told the FBI, House, and Senate intelligence committees that he’s willing to cooperate with an investigation into the Trump’s campaign ties…
