WASHINGTON, DC – Less than a day after taking to twitter to re-characterize his promised border wall as “new renovation of old and existing fences,” President Donald Trump has once again do…
U.S.
Snowflakes rally to preserve Stonewall Jackson’s Civil War participation trophy
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – Snowflakes throughout the American south are once again up in arms, after Charlottesville city council passed a unanimous vote to remove the city’s statue of confederate gen…
Meet the team of Navy SEALs whose job it is to bring back Trump every time he gets confused and wanders off
Among the most highly trained U.S. Special Operations soldiers, the men and women of SEAL Team 11 are tasked with locating and retrieving President Donald Trump every time he wanders away from ho…
John Kelly tired of confiscating Trump’s nudie pens
Washington D.C – Newly appointed Chief of Staff John Kelly has been overheard complaining to aides about having to confiscate yet another one of President Trump’s nudie pens after a m…
Ann Coulter finally allowed to die after Tomi Lahren joins Fox News
NEW YORK – Following the hiring of right-wing pundit Tomi Lahren, Fox News has announced that they will finally be allowing long-time contributor Ann Coulter to die. “So much pain… fo…
Houston Red Cross running dangerously low on thoughts and prayers
HOUSTON – The Houston chapter of the American Red Cross has issued a desperate plea for thoughts and prayers as Hurricane Harvey inundates southern Texas with record rainfall and devastatin…
Trump appoints Hurricane Harvey head of FEMA
HOUSTON — President Donald Trump has shocked Washington insiders by naming the Category 4 storm currently battering Houston as his head of the disaster relief agency FEMA. At 9:45pm Sunday …
US Open begins with ceremonial janitor throwing tennis balls off the roof
NEW YORK CITY – Marking the start of the US Open, tens of thousands gathered outside the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center Sunday evening to witness the ceremonial janitor throwi…
EXCLUSIVE: Donald Trump’s 13 deleted eclipse tweets
WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump once again ignored the desires of his staff today, taking to social media to unleash a tweet-storm during today’s total eclipse. While the tweets ha…
Steve Bannon leaves White House in search of whiter house
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Stephen K. Bannon, White House strategist and de facto leader of the uncivil rights movement, has resigned from his post as the president’s most trusted advisor, citing a…
