L.A. – Americans from coast to coast are reporting a deep fear that infamous criminal Orenthal James (O.J.) Simpson will once again commit the deed for which he is most known: breaking into…
U.S.
Mike Pence protests anthem protest with protest during anthem
INDIANAPOLIS — Citing his refusal to participate in any activity “that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem,” US Vice President voiced his displeasure with NFL players prote…
History getting pretty fucking tired of having to repeat itself
WORLDWIDE – History’s voice was hoarse this morning and its tone increasingly impatient due to being pretty fucking sick of repeating itself. “Jesus Christ, we’ve ALREADY BEEN OVER THIS!!” …
David Schwimmer reports OJ Simpson won’t leave his home or stop calling him Robert Kardashian
LOS ANGELES – After playing his deceased best friend Robert Kardashian on the hit television series American Crime Story, OJ Simpson, now released from a nine-year prison sentence, refuses …
Outrage! Trump fires White House falconer
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning move that shocked Washington insiders, President Trump unilaterally fired long-time White House falconer James McElroy. “He’s been with us since the Carter adminis…
Hugh Hefner’s ashes interred within shoebox at back of your dad’s sock drawer
LOS ANGELES – With the passing of Hugh Hefner this week, the estate announced today that the final earthly remains of the Playboy founder and cultural icon will be cremated and then interre…
Time for Hillary Clinton to move on, but not so much that I can’t project my impotent rage onto her
By Herbert Finderman With the release of her new book, What Happened, Hillary Clinton has shown once again that she is unwilling to do what Americans have wanted her to do for years: get out of p…
Donald Trump addresses UN General Assembly with face covered in wing sauce
NEW YORK – US President Donald Trump gave his much anticipated first speech to the United Nations General Assembly Tuesday, and while the speech was historic in content, it will primarily b…
Trump explains that the real wall was the friends we made along the way
WASHINGTON, DC – Less than a day after taking to twitter to re-characterize his promised border wall as “new renovation of old and existing fences,” President Donald Trump has once again do…
Snowflakes rally to preserve Stonewall Jackson’s Civil War participation trophy
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – Snowflakes throughout the American south are once again up in arms, after Charlottesville city council passed a unanimous vote to remove the city’s statue of confederate gen…
