WASHINGTON D.C. – Ahead of the Republican National Convention President Trump announced endorsements from Democrats Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Weinstein, intended to counter last week’s R…
U.S.
US prison overcrowding reaches critical mass due to Trump’s staff
WASHINGTON – Experts and prison staff are raising the alarm about overcrowding in US prisons due to Donald Trump’s staff. “We’re at a breaking point,” said Yani Overbrooke, a prison warden …
Democrats respond to Trump’s plans to destroy postal service by sending him strongly worded letter he will never receive
WASHINGTON, DC – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer have responded to President Donald Trump’s explicit threat to the US postal service by writing him a sca…
Career woman settles
WASHINGTON – Sources confirm that US Senator, former prosecutor and California Attorney General, and lifelong career gal Kamala Harris has finally decided to share her ticket with someone. “Sure,…
NRA accused of embezzling thoughts and prayers
MANHATTAN – The attorney general of New York has launched a lawsuit alleging the National Rifle Association has engaged in decades-long fraud involving the embezzlement of members’ thoughts…
New border rules require Americans to hold breath from BC to Alaska
VANCOUVER – The BC government announced new regulations that will require all American travellers going to and from Alaska to hold their breath for the duration of their trip through the pr…
Trump suggests delaying election until everyone dead
WASHINGTON D.C. – Citing issues with voting by mail, U.S. President Donald Trump suggested a delay to November’s presidential election to just after disease and destruction consumes h…
Trump introduces “choose your own adventure” pandemic protocol
Washington D.C. – As the number of COVID cases skyrockets in the United States, Trump and his administration have officially instituted a “choose your own adventure” protocol to tackling th…
Homeland Security assures Americans they’re grabbing Portland protesters off street for cool frat hazing
PORTLAND, OR – After reports of unidentified federal agents pulling protesters off the street and into unmarked vans, the US Department of Homeland Security has assured citizens the snatchi…
Fate of global superpower once again rests on immune system of old lady
BALTIMORE – All eyes are on John Hopkins Hospital as the future of one of the most powerful political entities in the history of the human race comes down to the ability of the white blood …
