CALGARY, AB — During a wholly organic social media exchange, users grew increasingly frustrated at the strident Alberta separatists from an account named @TruePatriot382 who, sources say, i…
US Trade War
Trump announces 35% tariffs on Krypton
WASHINGTON, DC – Following a wave of conservative backlash to the recent cinematic reboot of Superman, U.S. president Donald Trump has announced that all imports from Krypton will be subjec…
Breaking: can we get an article posted on Trump’s latest tariff threat before he backs down yet again?
Editor: Ok unnamed writer. Trump just ‘Truthed’ that he was going to do a 35% tariff on all products sent into the U.S. from Canada. And I know the last 15 times he did this we scrambled to write…
Trump ends trade talks with Canada, resumes trade talks with Canada, ends trade talks with Canada, demands to know which European country is Canada
WASHINGTON, DC – U.S. President Donald Trump has publicly announced that he will cease all discussions with Canada over any new trade agreements, before immediately following that up statin…
Trump puts 100% tariff on movies that force him to read
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After accidentally watching the South Korean film Parasite on Air Force One, Donald Trump has signed an executive order placing a 100% tariff on any movie that forces him to…
Canadians wonder if they can win trade war against famously self-sacrificing and unified Americans
OTTAWA – With tensions continuing to ratchet in the face of President Trump’s unilateral trade war, Canadians are openly wondering how they will fare against the notably harmonious, d…
Trump sends Carney a congratulatory basket of deported children
OTTAWA – Following Prime Minister Mark Carney’s successful campaign in the recent federal election, US President Donald Trump is sending him a gift basket filled with the only US export tha…
Canada stuck between making new friends and sticking with that one friend that’s gotten super conservative
CANADA – A somewhat reclusive and middle-aged Canada admitted it is stuck between making new friends or sticking with the one friend they’ve had forever, despite them recently becoming noti…
Cast of “Come From Away” pitch new ending where the Americans get beat up
TORONTO – The cast and crew of the current Toronto production of Come From Away have debuted a new ending where instead of forming lasting bonds of friendship, the people of Gander, Newfoun…
Canada seeks new country to rip off every part of our culture from
OTTAWA – As Canada works to separate our economy from the increasingly chaotic United States, the Canadian government is also searching for a new country to shamelessly copy for our entire …
