Barry’s Bay, ON – Ontarians looking to obtain their driver’s licenses will now be required to brush up on their semioticians, Derrida, and mathematics before they’re permitted to drive. Off…
Toronto
Wynne kills Gardiner, DVP roads tolls in appeal to popular “Fuck Toronto” constituency
TORONTO – Premier Kathleen Wynne has pulled her support for Toronto City Council’s plan to implement road tolls on the Gardiner Expressway and Don Valley Expressway, choosing instead to ali…
York trustee who used n-word looks exactly like you imagined
WOODBRIDGE – The York Region District School Board was shocked and appalled to hear that one of their trustees used the n-word in a public response to a black mother. That was, until they h…
Toronto Police celebrate #BellLetsTalk by tasering, beating suspect with mental illness
TORONTO – Toronto Police Services have announced their participation in Bell Let’s Talk mental health campaign by kicking, punching, and tasering a suspect with schizophrenia. “It’s time th…
TTC press conference will get going as soon as reporters move to back
Tonight at 10 PM (ET) on Comedy, the TTC has an important announcement to make…just as soon as everyone gets behind the white line. Also be sure to catch our Facebook Live pre-show t…
Sheppard Line celebrates 100th rider
TORONTO – In a triumphant milestone for Toronto’s newest, shortest, and most-overlooked subway branch, the Sheppard Line today celebrated its 100th rider since opening its doors in 2002. “I…
Bryan Baeumler shows the Beaverton how to find reasonably priced homes for sale in Toronto
Finally some good news for Toronto homebuyers from Bryan Baeumler.…
TTC to become #1 transit system in North America by sabotaging other cities’ transit systems
TORONTO – Andy Byford, CEO of the Toronto Transit Commission, has promised that the TTC will become North America’s premier mass transit system by the end of 2017 through large-scale sabotage of …
Four Seasons Centre for the Performing Arts to be renamed Axe Body Spray Fuck Dome
TORONTO – In a move that has caught local patrons off-guard, the Canadian Opera Company and multinational giant Unilever have agreed to a surprise, six-year partnership that will see the Four Sea…
Honest Ed’s condo developer promises to maintain character of community with even worse puns
TORONTO – Honest Ed’s, the Toronto discount shopping institution, will shut its doors today after 68 years. As the neighbourhood mourns its loss, the builders responsible for the redevelopm…
