Halifax, NS – Looking to take advantage of AI in his practice, Dr. Allan George turned to ChatGPT for novel ways to tell female patients “It’s all in your head.” Dr. George, a rheumatologis…
Tech
China’s new and cheaper magic beans shock America’s unprepared magic bean salesmen
NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans o…
Billionaire known for stealing people’s ideas debuts totally new, original salute
WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a…
Science Win! This AI video of a dog eating spaghetti uses the same amount of power as Haiti!
THE INTERNET – Just when you thought technology couldn’t get any awesomer, this latest generative video super computer can now make an entire video of a dog eating spaghetti in mere seconds…
New Pixel camera can make your parents look like they’re in love again
VANCOUVER, B.C. – His parents may have bought him Google’s newest flagship smartphone to take the sting out of their impending divorce, but 11-year-old Andy Liske is using the phone’s state…
All emotional support tabs lost in recent Chrome update
Charlottetown, PEI – Despite promises that all tabs would reopen, a trusting local woman lost all of her emotional support tabs in a recent Chrome update. Michelle Greene has had at least 8…
Video game exec just 10 layoffs away from unlocking “Decimated Industry” achievement
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Prominent video game CEO Matt Richter has just announced he’s only 10 layoffs away from earning the coveted ‘Decimated Industry” game industry achievement. “To think I’m…
Security experts agree new password will never love you like the old one did
TORONTO – According to a study conducted by a panel of cybersecurity experts, your new password lacks the special spark of your old one and will never bring you the same joy. “Few people get thro…
Elon Musk assures users that hiding “likes” on X has nothing to do with the weird porn he likes, only election interference
SAN FRANCISCO – After X, formerly Twitter, announced yesterday that “likes” would now be privatized and hidden, owner Elon Musk assured users that the move had nothing to do with all the fr…
Google announces plan to shove AI into all its products then eventually remove AI from all its products
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – At its annual developer conference, Google has proudly unveiled the numerous AIs it will be forcing into its products until some point in the not-too-distant future when…
