OTTAWA – Television viewers across the country have been wowed by a 30 second curling commercial that contains nearly 2.5 seconds of intense curling action. “I always thought curling was just an …
Sports
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up bullshit depending on whether we win
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a tot…
NFL updates ‘No More Racism’ end zone message by removing the ‘No’
NEW ORLEANS, LA – The NFL has announced that the prominent end zone messages of “No More Racism” will be updated for Super Bowl LIX between the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles on…
Leafs revamp power play by adding second pointless drop pass before entering zone
TORONTO – With their power play struggling worse than ever, Toronto Maple Leafs power play coach Marc Savard has introduced a new wrinkle that he’s confident will get the team over th…
Leafs confident they’ll keep winning as long as they get the best goaltending in the league every single night
TORONTO – As they continue to win games despite being completely unable to score goals, the Toronto Maple Leafs players and coaches expressed confidence that their success will continue as …
Report: Juan Soto in talks with Ohtani about best way to get Canadians’ hopes up before crushing their dreams
TORONTO – As rumours and speculation fly around whether or not the Blue Jays will acquire free agent and four-time All-Star Juan Soto, Soto was recently spotted talking to Shohei Ohtani abo…
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year. “I don’…
Ottawa sends yearly reminder to rest of NHL that it has a hockey team too
OTTAWA – With another NHL season about to commence, the Ottawa Senators have once again reminded the rest of the league that they exist and are equipped to play hockey. “Hi guys, it’s us again, …
NHL fans excited to watch their team’s 5 remaining uninjured players when regular season begins
TORONTO – In the midst of a preseason that has lasted approximately 6 months, hockey fans are excited to watch the few players on their team healthy enough to play when the regular season b…
Rogers promises Leafs, Raptors fans that their teams will be just as successful as current Blue Jays
TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that …
