Team: Ottawa Senators Mascot: A Carleton University student wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs hoodie 2013-2014 season: The Senators’ elimination from playoff contention in the final week of th…
Sports
Vancouver Canucks: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Vancouver Canucks Mascot: The green men’s bulge 2013-14 Season: Tired of boring things like scoring goals and having a good powerplay, the 2013-14 Canucks’ primary focus was on losing games…
Edmonton Oilers: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Edmonton Oilers Mascot: A middle aged man who won’t stop talking about the 1980s. 2013-14 Season: The Oilers entered the season with a lot of young, unproven talent who then proved themsel…
Winnipeg Jets: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Winnipeg Jets Mascot: The guy outside the arena still talking about Teemu Selanne’s rookie year. 2013-14 Season: Good enough not to leave again Key Additions: For some reason Winnipeg, the …
Toronto Maple Leafs: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Toronto Maple Leafs Mascot: An empty Platinum level seat 2013-14 Season: The Leafs managed to take the dramatic third period collapse in their Game 7 loss to the Bruins from the previous ye…
NFL to nation’s women: ‘Please stop letting our star players assault you’
NEW YORK – Citing the need to correct longstanding issues within its organization, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, along with coaches from across the country, pleaded with the nation’s wome…
Roger Goodell refuses to believe he saw Ray Rice video until he sees video of himself watching video
NEW YORK – In a press conference today, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell responded to reports suggesting he had seen the video of suspended running back Ray Rice punching his wife in an eleva…
Habs fans get 8 more years to scapegoat P.K. Subban
MONTREAL — Habs fans across social media erupted into cheers after the Montreal Canadiens signed a 8 year, $72 million deal with their favorite scapegoat, P.K. Subban. “Bergevin could not d…
Man late for meeting wins Honda Indy
TORONTO – Human Resources Director Tom Biddlesworth is the latest driver to win the Honda Indy after he found himself late for an important meeting across town. Using a series of last-minut…
WORLD CUP FINAL: German efficiency trumps whatever Argentina is known for
RIO DE JANEIRO – With a narrowly scored last-minute goal, the German World Cup team’s efficient and relentless play has triumphed over Argentina’s style, which was probably hot or spicy or …
