TORONTO – The Blue Jays have announced the departure of General Manager Alex Anthopolous due to a contract dispute in which Rogers was only able to promise him 150 long distance minutes. “A…
Sports
Toronto Blue Jays fans eager to end 22-year rioting drought
TORONTO – After a two decade playoff absence fans of the Toronto Blue Jays are hopeful this will be the year they can finally destroy their city in a drunken World Series celebration. “I wa…
400,000 Blue Jays fans injured after bandwagon crashes outside stadium
TORONTO – Tragedy struck in the Rogers Center parking lot today when a head-on collision occurred between a sedan and a 400,000 seat bandwagon following yet another lopsided Blue Jays victo…
Encarnacion hits 3 home runs, scores 9 RBIs, ascends to being of pure energy
TORONTO – Following a historic performance of 9 RBIs and 3 home runs, including one Grand Slam, Blue Jays slugger Edwin Encarnacion shocked the capacity crowd at Rogers Center by transmutin…
Toronto man devastated upon realizing he threw away old Blue Jays jersey
TORONTO — Looking to show support for his home team following their recent string of successes, David Reynolds was grief stricken with the realization that he had discarded his old Blue Jay…
Nick Kyrgios fined at Rogers Cup for not using tennis-related euphemism in insult
TORONTO — Professional tennis star Nick Kyrgios was fined $10,000 after a match at the Rogers Cup, Wednesday, for insulting his opponent without using a tennis pun as required by ATP guidel…
Chinese sweatshop workers already hard at work making snow
BEIJING – Mere hours after being awarded the 2022 Olympic Games Chinese officials say government sweatshop workers are already working 18 hour days to make the snow that will be featured ac…
Kanye West interrupts Pan Am closing ceremony to complain no medals went to Beyonce
TORONTO – During tonight’s closing ceremonies for the Pan American games in Toronto, the event’s headlining act, Kanye West, took to the stage before his cue to berate the Pan Am Games for …
Zero injured after sinkhole swallows entire Pan Am stadium
TORONTO – Disaster was narrowly avoided yesterday after a sinkhole opened up under the Pan Am stadium during track and field finals, a tragedy that could have been even worse had anybody be…
PAN AM UPDATE: CANADA WINS GREEN IN WATER HOCKEY
TORONTO – After a breathtaking match against Suriname, the Canadian water hockey team has surged to victory, claiming Canada’s first green ribbon in the 2015 Pan Am Games. “We went out ther…
