TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they will not play Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens to save everyone the trouble. “I think we all know how this will end,” said Leafs C…
Sports
Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames’ season
CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it&#…
NHL claims Tom Wilson was only providing first aid by applying ice surface to opposing players’ head injuries
NEW YORK – The NHL took no further disciplinary action against Washington Capitals player Tom Wilson after claiming the enforcer was merely attempting to apply ice to his opponents’ head in…
Jack Campbell spends entire day attempting to return $5 bill to total stranger
TORONTO – Toronto Maple Leafs backup goaltender and good Samaritan Jack Campbell has spent hours looking for the person who accidentally dropped a $5 bill at Union Station in Toronto. The f…
Blue Jays use money saved by removing radio broadcast to do nothing
TORONTO – As Opening Day approaches, Toronto Blue Jays fans are outraged that Rogers will no longer be offering a distinct Blue Jays radio broadcast and will instead be replacing it with a …
NHL finally finds the one bad referee causing officiating problems in all games
TORONTO – The NHL has announced that referee Tim Peel will no longer be working NHL games after being caught on mic saying that he wanted to give a penalty to one team regardless of infract…
Hockey Night In Canada names Piers Morgan new host of Coach’s Corner
TORONTO – Hockey Night in Canada announced today that they were bringing back their long-running Coach’s Corner first-intermission segment with Ron MacLean and new ‘Coach’ Piers Morgan. “Pi…
Third man on bobsleigh team admits he sometimes tilts head the wrong way just to feel something
CALGARY – In a stunning revelation, world class bobsledder Bernhard Steuzel admitted in a recent interview that he sometimes tilts his head the opposite direction of the rest of his team in…
NHL vows to protect players’ elbows from spate of vicious headbutts
TORONTO – The NHL has moved to drastically reduce the ongoing plague of league-wide elbow injuries via headbutts by reckless players. Despite growing awareness of the damage done to players…
Local waiter can’t wait to be killed by his favourite NHL Player
TORONTO – With the NHL’s all-Canadian North Division being given permission to dine indoors in certain Ontario restaurants, local Mack Blastor’s server Tom Kramer says he is thrilled …
