OTTAWA ― With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, the Canadian Civil Organization of Nerds (CanCON) has warned that the usual non-stop talk about the NHL will be met with swift retaliation this year…
Hockey
NHL finally finds the one bad referee causing officiating problems in all games
TORONTO – The NHL has announced that referee Tim Peel will no longer be working NHL games after being caught on mic saying that he wanted to give a penalty to one team regardless of infract…
NHL vows to protect players’ elbows from spate of vicious headbutts
TORONTO – The NHL has moved to drastically reduce the ongoing plague of league-wide elbow injuries via headbutts by reckless players. Despite growing awareness of the damage done to players…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Chris Cuthbert interrupts scintillating promo for new CBC Gem show with silly hockey game
EDMONTON – The second round of CBC Gem promos began over the weekend on Sportsnet, and while the shows promised countless thrills many fans were upset at the near constant interruptions car…
NHL chooses Toronto as hub city due its fans having most experience watching other teams win
TORONTO – The NHL said today that choosing Toronto as one of its two playoff hub cities was a “no brainer” due to Leafs’ fans long experience watching other visiting teams celebrate playoff…
Despite suspended NHL season, Leafs somehow still eliminated from playoffs
TORONTO — With the NHL announcing it will suspend the 2019/20 season due to concerns over the coronavirus pandemic, the League has also announced that the Toronto Maple Leafs have somehow s…
Sportsnet reminds viewers of its zero-consequence-for-racism policy
TORONTO – Sportsnet has responded to Don Cherry’s recent comments towards immigrants by reminding fans that it has a zero-consequence policy for anything racist the host says. “We strongly …
Heartwarming: City of Calgary donates $275M to local billionaire
CALGARY – In the midst of an economic downturn that has negatively affected many Calgarians, the City of Calgary has decided to open its heart, and its wallet, with a pledge to spend $275 m…
Nation’s loud, uninformed uncles line up to replace Don Cherry
TORONTO — With Rogers Sportsnet announcing that it has terminated Don Cherry’s Hockey Night In Canada contract following his recent on-air comments about immigrants, interest in the job has…