REGINA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer said that he kept his US citizenship a secret until now for fear of being persecuted as a white heterosexual male from the United States. “I didn’…
Politics
Conservatives vow to cut $2.2 billion of foreign aid to Middle-earth
OTTAWA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer further outlined his foreign aid policies by announcing a $2.2 billion cut to Middle-earth, roughly 25% of Canada’s foreign assistance to other co…
Hamilton pleads for political demonstrators to save their violence for a Ti-Cats game
HAMILTON, ON – After a scuffle and screaming match in Hamilton yesterday, community leaders have asked local political demonstrators to reserve their hate and transgressions for a Tiger-Cat…
Andrew Scheer quickly deletes “Prime Minister” from resume
TORONTO – Hoping no one has yet noticed the exaggeration on his resume, Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has quickly deleted details outlining that he was Prime Minister from 2006 until 20…
Communist Party candidate forced to resign after photos reveal him reading Ayn Rand
OTTAWA – A Communist Party of Canada candidate was forced to resign after photos were released of him reading Atlas Shrugged as a university student. Fred Buck, a candidate for the Ottawa r…
Trudeau comes to Montreal climate strike to protest self
MONTREAL – Wearing his ‘We Only Have 1 Earth’ t-shirt and hitting a pot with a wooden spoon, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau marched through the streets of Montreal to protest his government’…
Scheer not attending climate strikes fearing presence of 16-year-old girl
REGINA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer did not attend any of today’s climate strikes across the country for fear of being confronted by a 16-year-old protester. “I think I’m better off …
NDP, Greens: “Environmentalists don’t build pipelines, they build oilsand refineries instead”
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh and Green Party Leader Elizabeth May slammed Justin Trudeau’s hypocrisy for purchasing the Trans Mountain Pipeline claiming that he should have taken their…
Trudeau wondering how long until it’s cool for him to do blackface again
OTTAWA — As the Liberal electoral campaign is rocked by revelations that Justin Trudeau has worn both black and brownface, the embattled PM has quietly asked aides how long it will be until…
Starving Canadians from 2050 wished the 2019 election was about the climate crisis
RUINS OF TORONTO – A group of starving Canadians from the year 2050 lamented on the ill-fated 2019 election, the last chance the country had to save itself and the world from a climate chan…
