KINGSTON, ON – The Tragically Hip has announced that it will be cancelling its final national tour as the members of the band were unable to acquire tickets to any of the 15 events they wer…
National
Tories continue to rebrand by removing wicker man ritual from party constitution
OTTAWA – After recently ending their opposition to gay marriage, the Conservative Party of Canada is continuing to rebrand, this time by resolving to no longer burn human captives inside of…
Guy in wraparound shades fully prepared to show ISIS who they’re dealing with
BANCROFT, ON – Decked out in camouflage pants, wraparound sunglasses and a fresh bicep tattoo, local badass Dave Kringler is ready to rock and roll the exact moment ISIS gives him a reason …
Conservative Party announces it ‘hath ended its opposition to buggery’
VANCOUVER – In a dramatic announcement, the Conservative Party of Canada announced it no longer opposes marriage between two chaps or a couple of dowagers. “I suppose the jig is up and it i…
Liberal Party’s new policies based on inspiring set of fridge magnets
WINNIPEG – The Liberal Party of Canada wrapped up their first Biennial Convention since their 2015 federal electoral victory and adopted many new important policies based on very uplifting …
Hero Ambassador Kevin Vickers tackles protester before he could detonate opinions
DUBLIN – Canadian Ambassador to Ireland Kevin Vickers is once again being called a hero for tackling a man heavily armed with a loud voice before he could detonate his opinions at a ceremon…
Harper delivers heartfelt, heavily redacted resignation speech
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced he was bowing out of politics today in a sincere, and vigorously redacted, speech to the House of Commons. “I hope that my tenure as …
Rona Ambrose slowly lowers live goat into pit full of Tory backbenchers
OTTAWA – During question period today, interim leader of the Conservative Party Rona Ambrose used her time to feed a live goat to several dozen ravenous Tory backbenchers. “We are not to be…
Trudeau’s attempt to start Parliamentary Fight Club backfires
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau admitted this morning that yesterday’s effort to finally get the House of Commons Fight Club started was a poor choice on his part. “I just thought that at the end o…
Entire NDP caucus arrive in neck braces, wheelchairs to House of Commons after Trudeau’s assault
OTTAWA – All 44 members of the NDP caucus arrived in Parliament this morning wearing neck braces, arm slings, head bandages, and seated in wheelchairs after yesterday’s physical altercation…
