NEW YORK CITY – Citing our country’s friendly, yet susceptible people and our natural insecurity, The New York Times has described Canada as the number one country in the world to surge the…
National
The Beaverton apologizes for anti-Brad Wall tweet where we called him ‘a fucking fuck face’
TORONTO – The editors of the Beaverton offer our deepest regrets to Saskatchewan Prime Minister Brad Wall for our recent tweet where we called him a “fucking fuck face.” “Obviously things g…
Breaking: douchebag facebook friend to run for Conservative Party Leader
Sydney, N.S. – Ending months of speculation and rumour, that annoyingly conservative guy from your facebook who you went to school with has announced that he will indeed run to be leader of…
Update: People you’re trying to get away from with camping trip also have free Parks Canada passes
CANADA – Early reports indicate that every person you would dread to see on your planned escape into one of Canada’s majestic national parks this summer will also be there thanks to the fed…
Report: Canada’s champion hotdog eater has already eaten more hotdogs than you will in an entire year
SCHREIBER, ON – Before Canadians finish their dinners at 6:47 PM ET tonight, Canada’s competitive hotdog eater Darrell Rigby will have already consumed 58 hotdogs, one more than the annual …
RCMP spying on journalists?
Donavon VS the RCMP.…
CBC purchases $1.2 million helicopter to cover more feel-good Syrian refugee stories
TORONTO – The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has announced the recent purchase of a $1.2 million Bell 206 helicopter to meet the public’s demand for heartwarming stories about Syrian ref…
Excited Brad Wall races down stairs only to find presents in stocking again
REGINA – Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall faced a disappointing Christmas morning today, after shooting out of bed and running down the stairs only to find gifts in his stocking yet again. “M…
Once again millions of Canadians literally forget how to drive after first snowfall
OTTAWA – Ministry of Transportation offices across Canada are once again finding themselves overrun with what has become a familiar sight each winter, as hundreds of thousands of Canadians …
Liberals unveil new rock-paper-scissors protocols to determine immigrants’ futures
OTTAWA — At a press conference on Thursday the federal government announced that they would replace the outmoded first-come first-serve immigration application process with a global rock-p…
