CANADA – Early reports indicate that every person you would dread to see on your planned escape into one of Canada’s majestic national parks this summer will also be there thanks to the fed…
National
Report: Canada’s champion hotdog eater has already eaten more hotdogs than you will in an entire year
SCHREIBER, ON – Before Canadians finish their dinners at 6:47 PM ET tonight, Canada’s competitive hotdog eater Darrell Rigby will have already consumed 58 hotdogs, one more than the annual …
RCMP spying on journalists?
Donavon VS the RCMP.…
CBC purchases $1.2 million helicopter to cover more feel-good Syrian refugee stories
TORONTO – The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has announced the recent purchase of a $1.2 million Bell 206 helicopter to meet the public’s demand for heartwarming stories about Syrian ref…
Excited Brad Wall races down stairs only to find presents in stocking again
REGINA – Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall faced a disappointing Christmas morning today, after shooting out of bed and running down the stairs only to find gifts in his stocking yet again. “M…
Once again millions of Canadians literally forget how to drive after first snowfall
OTTAWA – Ministry of Transportation offices across Canada are once again finding themselves overrun with what has become a familiar sight each winter, as hundreds of thousands of Canadians …
Liberals unveil new rock-paper-scissors protocols to determine immigrants’ futures
OTTAWA — At a press conference on Thursday the federal government announced that they would replace the outmoded first-come first-serve immigration application process with a global rock-p…
Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Chris Alexander
Name: Chris Alexander Background In high school, Alexander participated in Model United Nations and successfully negotiated a peace accord between the Jordan delegate who was accused of stealing …
Following criticisms, Liberals vow to legalize weed even more
OTTAWA – After sustained criticism over several dozen issues, the Liberal government has promised to solve everything by legalizing weed even more. “We saw that you were angry, so we listen…
Chief of Defence Staff attacks military’s sexual misconduct culture with flanking maneuver, close air support
OTTAWA – Chief of Defence Staff General Jonathan Vance has announced a full-scale military operation involving all 68,000 Regular and 27,000 Reserves, which aims to destroy all elements of …
