OTTAWA – Just days after a media firestorm around his trip to the Aga Khan’s private island, an ethics investigation alleges Prime Minister Trudeau took a private helicopter to the Kubla Kh…
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Nation pats itself on the back for only being pretty racist
CANADA – In the lead-up to the inauguration of an openly xenophobic US president, Canada is taking a moment to quietly congratulate itself on only being very racist. “Obviously, we’re not a…
Trudeau returns from island vacay with souvenir ethics investigation
OTTAWA – A well-rested and freshly dreamy Prime Minister Trudeau returned from an island vacation in the Bahamas Monday with that “new controversy smell” after purchasing an ethics investig…
SHOCKING: Veteran suffering from PTSD gets help he needs
OTTAWA – In an event Veterans Affairs officials are calling “unnerving and disturbing” sources say a man diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after serving two tours of duty in Afg…
Report: 78% of nation’s municipal infrastructure funds spent on single Montreal overpass
MONTREAL — An audit has revealed that tens of billions in infrastructure spending has been dedicated to repairing a single overpass along Autoroute 15 in Montreal. All other national infra…
Rookie Minister of Youth Justin Trudeau survives Trudeau’s cabinet shuffle
OTTAWA – Despite a cabinet shuffle that saw prominent MPs Stephane Dion and John McCallum moved aside, inexperienced Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs and Youth Justin Trudeau has manag…
New York Times lists Canada as No. 1 place to boost their web traffic when mentioned
NEW YORK CITY – Citing our country’s friendly, yet susceptible people and our natural insecurity, The New York Times has described Canada as the number one country in the world to surge the…
The Beaverton apologizes for anti-Brad Wall tweet where we called him ‘a fucking fuck face’
TORONTO – The editors of the Beaverton offer our deepest regrets to Saskatchewan Prime Minister Brad Wall for our recent tweet where we called him a “fucking fuck face.” “Obviously things g…
Breaking: douchebag facebook friend to run for Conservative Party Leader
Sydney, N.S. – Ending months of speculation and rumour, that annoyingly conservative guy from your facebook who you went to school with has announced that he will indeed run to be leader of…
