Beloved Readers, The country is broken. People are on the streets. The economy is not economizing. The country is being invaded by niqab-wearing, tax-loving, baby-hating, transgender elites who w…
National
Via Rail’s Canada 150 passes delayed until 2019
MONTREAL – Despite their best efforts to get them printed and shipped, Via Rail confirmed this morning that they would be delaying their Canada 150 youth passes until 2019. “I know Canada 1…
RCMP report dickheaded Canada geese greatest threat to national security
OTTAWA — RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson has declared asshole Canadian geese are the largest security threat facing the country. “Canadians are more likely to be attacked by these dangerous w…
Liberals plan legislation to make marijuana shittier, harder to get
OTTAWA – Leaked briefings have revealed Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will unveil legislation that would enable make obtaining and consuming marijuana “even more of a pain in the ass” befor…
Vote Kellie Leitch for CPC Leader! As long as you’re not one of those people.
Vote Kellie Leitch for CPC Leader! As long as you’re not one of those people.…
Thousands arrested under Shariah law after passage of anti-Islamophobia motion, imagines local man
STRATHROY, ON – A local man’s imagination is reporting that thousands of Canadians have been incarcerated under the country’s new Sharia law, thanks to the passage of the Anti-Islamophobia …
Budget 2017: What you need to know
Finance Minister Bill Morneau announced the federal government’s 2017 budget. Here are some of the details: $50,000 to re-announce what was in the 2016 budget $100,000 for life-sized mannequins o…
Canadian town welcomes refugees
This small town is welcoming Syrian refugees by forcing them to come to their church.…
BREAKING: Investigation into vote buying reveals Conservative Party has no real members
OTTAWA – An investigation into vote buying allegations in the Conservative leadership race has led to the discovery that the Conservative Party currently has zero members. “We thought it wa…
Michael Chong Conservative Party Ad
Vote Michael Chong for CPC Leader! Or don’t. See if he gives a fuck.…
