OTTAWA – Counter-protesters have erected a traditional sprawling suburb on Parliament Hill in response to a group of grassroots indigenous activists who set up a tepee for the Canada 150 ce…
National
REPORT: Nation still using Dave’s Netflix account
MISSISSAUGA – An investigation by the Netflix Data Engineering and Analytics team has found that each of the approximately 36.5 million Canadians is currently logged in to Dave’s Netflix account.…
Canada’s new superiority complex shattered by cursory glance at CBC comments section
OTTAWA — In a crushing blow to its upcoming 150th anniversary celebrations, Canada’s emerging sense of comparative superiority to the United States was shattered this week, following a casual loo…
Andrew Scheer pepper sprayed while trying to photobomb wedding
OTTAWA – Mere moments after a mischievous smile spread across his face at the sight of a young couple taking wedding photos, a shirtless Andrew Scheer is rolling on the ground, grovelling a…
This year’s most popular Father’s Day gift just box full of gears and wires
CANADA – Businesses across the nation are reporting that this year’s most popular Father’s Day gift is a nondescript cardboard box filled with gears and wires of various sizes that retails …
MMIW commission insist they are very close to figuring out how office telephones work
OTTAWA – After several months and over five million dollars spent the commissioners tasked with investigating the tragedy of missing and murdered indigenous women have assured Canadians the…
Canada immediately engulfed by holy fire after scrapping blasphemy law
CANADA – The entirety of Canada is in flames today after the Liberal party introduced legislation to repeal unnecessary sections of the criminal code, including the section that prohibits b…
Portraits of Canadiosity: Conrad Black
Conrad Black; the worst Canadian?…
Ottawa announces $62 billion worth of defence spending delays
OTTAWA – Defence Minister Harjit Sajjan has announced that the government will add $62 billion in defence spending delays over the next 10 years. The new procurement strategy titled ‘Postpo…
Quebec to ratify Charter if rest of Canada eats this grasshopper
QUEBEC CITY – After nearly 4 decades, the province of Quebec has vowed to finally ratify the 1982 Constitution Act, on the sole condition that the rest of the country eats this disgusting g…
