OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has found that the vast majority of Canadians, while upset about Trump’s proposed tariffs, are still pretty relieved he hasn’t declared actual war by now. …
National
Trudeau returns from UK visit with British accent
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau has returned from a trip to England only to shock Parliamentary observers with his new, fully-formed British accent. “My dear, whatever do you mean?” said Trudeau in…
Government announces plans to make ‘O Canada’ deity neutral
OTTAWA – Following recent changes to make the national anthem gender neutral, the Liberal government is taking things one step further by also making the anthem applicable to a variety of gods. T…
Citing distinct identity, 7 Bloc Quebecois MPs announce intention to separate from rest of party
OTTAWA – Claiming that leader Martine Ouellet does not respect their unique position within the Bloc Quebecois Party, 7 out of 10 Bloc MPs have chosen to leave. Tension has been building fo…
Criminal justice system charged with accessory to murder in Colten Boushie case
North Battleford, SK – After an all-white jury returned a verdict of “not guilty”, despite expert and eyewitness testimony, the Canadian criminal justice system has been formally charged wi…
Poll: Most Canadians support anti-anti-Islamophobia day
OTTAWA – On the one-year anniversary of the Quebec City Mosque shooting, a majority of Canadians say that they are supportive of an anti-anti-Islamophobia Day, according to a new poll. “Our…
Canada ranked number 1 in list of countries that care the most about international rankings
TORONTO – Canada is taking the number 1 spot once again this year on US News and World Report’s annual ranking of the countries on Earth that care the most about international rankings. It’…
Faith healer Trudeau tours country performing miracle of restoring his popularity
HAMILTON – Worshipers flocked to town halls across the country to watch faith healer Justin Trudeau perform the miraculous healing of his damaged reputation. “Ladies and gentlemen, I was in…
Government urges people to stay out of the woods during yeti mating season
BANFF NATIONAL PARK – Provincial wildlife experts are warning hikers, skiers and snowmobilers that we’ve entered the most active period of the Yeti mating season and forestested areas are n…
Loblaws accused of price-fixing scheme on apology gift cards from last price-fixing scheme
Brampton, ON — Grocery chain Loblaws, which recently offered $25 gift cards to apologize for a nationwide 14-year-long price fixing scheme on bread, has been accused of subjecting the gift …
