OTTAWA – Following Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte’s statement that he would “declare war” with Canada over a series of shipping containers of garbage sent to the Philippines years…
National
Alberta elects its first assistant trailer park supervisor as Premier
EDMONTON – The people of Alberta have elected Randy, an assistant trailer park supervisor from Nova Scotia, as their Premier for the next four years. With a majority of the seats the UCP is…
Trudeau always assumed he would be taken down by much sexier scandal
OTTAWA — Following criticism of his decision to oust Jody Wilson-Raybould from the Liberal caucus in the fallout of the SNC-Lavalin affair, Prime Minister Trudeau has replied that he always…
Nation’s short attention span reduces Heritage Minutes to Heritage Seconds
TORONTO – Historica Canada, the makers of the iconic Heritage Minutes, have announced they will no longer be creating 60 second-long clips due to Canadians’ short attention span. Instead, s…
Trudeau opts to put out fire with kerosene
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took the bold step of putting out a fire out by pouring a bucket of kerosene on it. “I told myself: Justin, this has to end,” Trudeau said, with his j…
Report: JWR’s workout playlist just 200 hours of colleagues she’s secretly recorded
OTTAWA – A recently obtained copy of the former Justice Minister’s iTunes workout playlist consists entirely of secretly recorded conversations with her cabinet and caucus colleagues.…
Trudeau distracts from SNC-Lavalin scandal with impromptu ‘Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters’
TORONTO — While getting heckled during a Liberal Party fundraiser, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau elected to turn the event into a spontaneous “Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters” i…
Feds replace access to information system with cabinet gossip leak system
OTTAWA – Heralding in a new era of government transparency, the Liberal government has announced that it will be replacing its old system of providing internal data about services with a mo…
SNC-Lavalin employee retires
OTTAWA – After 38 years of loyal service, a long-time SNC-Lavalin employee has announced he is punching the clock for the last time. Michael Wernick, government relations coordinator for th…
‘They’re heroes,’ says man who called former cabinet ministers unqualified diversity hires two months ago
OTTAWA – Early reports indicate that local partisan Bruce Thompson has had a sudden embrace of former cabinet ministers Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane Philpott after years of calling them sh…
