MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin was impressed at Canadian voters initiative to misinform themselves without the aid of a foreign power. Putin was more than happy not to have lifte…
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Communist Party candidate forced to resign after photos reveal him reading Ayn Rand
OTTAWA – A Communist Party of Canada candidate was forced to resign after photos were released of him reading Atlas Shrugged as a university student. Fred Buck, a candidate for the Ottawa r…
Trudeau wondering how long until it’s cool for him to do blackface again
OTTAWA — As the Liberal electoral campaign is rocked by revelations that Justin Trudeau has worn both black and brownface, the embattled PM has quietly asked aides how long it will be until…
Despite zero confirmations, The Beaverton’s National Leaders Debate will go ahead with empty podiums
TORONTO – The Beaverton’s National Leaders Debate will still go ahead tonight void of debaters despite having no confirmations from any of the leaders yet. Debate organizers assumed that th…
Liberals’ first-time home buyer plan will create fake hauntings to drive down prices
VICTORIA – The Liberals have kicked off their re-election campaign with a promise to help Canada’s first-time home buyers by convincing existing home owners that their houses are haunted. “…
Canadians barricading homes in anticipation for 8 more weeks of election bullshit
OTTAWA – Canadians across the country have spent their weekends filling sandbags, barricading their doors, and stocking supplies in preparation for the 2019 election bullshit. “The writ has…
Elections Canada concerned facts may interfere with federal election
OTTAWA – Elections Canada is issuing a special warning to all advocacy groups that they should not issue any scientifically verifiable facts during the election that would interfere with Ca…
Canadian lectures American on how only 17 people were shot in Toronto over the weekend
TORONTO – In an effort to demonstrate Canada’s superior gun laws and protection of its citizens, local man Jared Wilson chided his American friend for not having smaller scale mass shooting…
Nation’s architects admit they don’t know what they’re doing
CANADA – The country’s architects have admitted they have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to designing any building. “I just make shit up as I go along,” confessed Lennox Elm who s…
Budget-wise Canadian military purchases cheaper No Name missiles
OTTAWA – Working within a tighter budget for a middle-power, the Department of National Defence says it will be saving money by going with the No Name Brand missiles instead of the more exp…
