OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reports that he is considering running for leadership of a different country, following 9 years of “getting his feet wet” in Canada. ̶…
National
Canada to honour Brian Mulroney with week of raised GST rate
OTTAWA – In response to the death of Brian Mulroney, Canada’s 18th Prime Minister, the government has announced the nation’s GST will be doubled for one week. “The flags will go down, and the ta…
Trudeau: Protests at hospitals are reprehensible, bombings to be judged on a case by case basis
TORONTO – Following a pro-Palestinian protest that partially took place outside Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto on Monday night, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau posted on Twitter/X to voice h…
“If only someone had the power to make corporations behave better,” laments prime minister
TORONTO – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is deeply concerned about Bell Media firing 4800 workers, including hundreds of journalists, in their latest round of layoffs and wishes someone woul…
Pierre Poilievre describes more jobs
After Pierre Poilievre described an electrician as someone who “captures lightning from the sky and runs it through a copper wire to illuminate this room and light up the world” we sa…
Canadian Politicians New Year’s Resolutions
We asked the biggest names in Canadian politics what they hope to accomplish in the new year. Here is what they had to say:…
Most popular Christmas Gifts in each Province
Canadians buy a lot of Christmas Presents. And while most should be from the Beaverton Merch Store, some aren’t. Here is our list of the most popular Christmas Presents in every province. N…
Worst job in every province
Due to capitalism and the fact that we weren’t all born into the Weston family, Canadians work lots of jobs. Here are the worst ones in each province. Newfoundland: The cod everyone kisses …
Media promise to start covering Pierre Poilievre’s transphobic comments as soon as they finish 50th story on how Liberals are unpopular
OTTAWA – In the wake of Pierre Poilievre condemning “radical gender ideology” at an event in Richmond Hill, Canadian newspapers, radio shows and evening news broadcasters swear …
Liberals explain why they’re so far behind in the polls
The federal liberals continue to flounder, with poll after poll finding that, if an election were held today, Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives would secure a massive majority government. We…