Toronto – Producers of beloved satirical website and international television phenomenon The Beaverton announced today that they would be revealing which party had secured the coveted Beave…
National
Conservative platform promises to only cut 2 provinces
OTTAWA — With Andrew Scheer’s Conservatives finally releasing their electoral platform, the plan has promised to cut “no more than 2 Canadian provinces”. The CPC platform, released last Fri…
Elections Canada unveils new ‘voting against’ ballot
OTTAWA – Canadian voters will now be able to cast a ballot against the political parties and candidates that they do not want to see in government just in time for election day, says Electi…
Update: Canadians lucky US Presidential endorsement of Canadian political leader didn’t involve drone strikes
OTTAWA – Canadians familiar with US regime change in foreign countries are breathing a sigh of relief after former US President Barack Obama endorsed Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau without b…
5 great excuses for not voting in the Federal election, you piece of shit
OTTAWA – The Federal election is upon us, and projections show that the Millennial demographic wields considerable power to decide the future Prime Minister. You’re going to need a better excuse …
Putin impressed Canadian voters don’t need help spreading disinformation
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin was impressed at Canadian voters initiative to misinform themselves without the aid of a foreign power. Putin was more than happy not to have lifte…
Communist Party candidate forced to resign after photos reveal him reading Ayn Rand
OTTAWA – A Communist Party of Canada candidate was forced to resign after photos were released of him reading Atlas Shrugged as a university student. Fred Buck, a candidate for the Ottawa r…
Trudeau wondering how long until it’s cool for him to do blackface again
OTTAWA — As the Liberal electoral campaign is rocked by revelations that Justin Trudeau has worn both black and brownface, the embattled PM has quietly asked aides how long it will be until…
Despite zero confirmations, The Beaverton’s National Leaders Debate will go ahead with empty podiums
TORONTO – The Beaverton’s National Leaders Debate will still go ahead tonight void of debaters despite having no confirmations from any of the leaders yet. Debate organizers assumed that th…
Liberals’ first-time home buyer plan will create fake hauntings to drive down prices
VICTORIA – The Liberals have kicked off their re-election campaign with a promise to help Canada’s first-time home buyers by convincing existing home owners that their houses are haunted. “…
