VICTORIA – The province of B.C. would like prairie separatists to please desist from calling their sovereignty movement Wexit (Western Canada Exit) and are hoping to drive this point home i…
National
“See how easy that was?” says May to Scheer after quitting
OTTAWA – Shortly after resigning as leader of the Green Party this morning Elizabeth May called current Conservative leader Andrew Scheer to tell him it wasn’t all that hard. “You don’t hav…
Advisors confident Scheer’s personal charm and charisma will allow him to survive leadership review
OTTAWA – In the wake of disappointing election results many political insiders believe Andrew Scheer is on his way out as leader of the Conservative Party. But advisors to Scheer claim thes…
Nation has annual moment where we remember we technically have a Queen
OTTAWA – Canadians paused for a moment this morning to collectively think about the fact that we are the subjects of a Queen chosen by God to rule us, before immediately shrugging our shoul…
Toronto woman who endured Harper decade “just doesn’t understand” what it’s like for feds to ignore her interests
TORONTO – Amancia Gordon, 43, has been repeatedly told by those living in the West that she can never understand the plight of having a federal government who doesn’t champion the values sh…
Trudeau win inspires next generation of white men to break the blackface barrier
OTTAWA – With media sources projecting at least a minority government, Canada’s first black and brown prime minister Justin Trudeau has been re-elected. The Liberal leader won another hard …
Andrew Scheer frantically asks for do-over after accidentally voting for Trudeau
REGINA – Witnesses have reported seeing Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer pleading with Elections Canada officials to allow him to re-do his vote after realizing that he mistakenly cast his…
2019 federal election campaign has aged average Canadian by 42 years
OTTAWA – A recent study by the University of Ottawa Department of Gerontology has suggested that the average Canadian who has been following the federal election campaign puts an average 36…
Tomorrow’s election prompts louder, more impassioned uninformed opinions
OTTAWA – With tomorrow’s federal election looming, the nation’s friends, co-workers, and family members are going head-to-head with passionate opinions based on absolutely zero …
Millions of votes thrown away under first-past-the-post system create massive ocean garbage patch
VICTORIA – Experts are bracing for a fresh deluge of unused votes from Canada’s federal election to make their way to the ocean and wreak havoc on marine life. “First-past-the post is a ver…
