OTTAWA – Still angry over the election results and their threats to separate, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has ordered Santa Claus not to drop off any presents to families living in Saskat…
National
Weather Alert: Canadians expected to receive up to 8 trivial office conversations about snow
TORONTO – The national weather advisory released a statement today warning Canadians to expect up to 8 pointless office conversations on how much snow had fallen. “I don’t know what the fuc…
Conservative Party demands knowledge back from Scheer’s kids
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party has announced that following Andrew Scheer’s resignation as party leader, they will also be expecting to recoup the knowledge his kids acquired while attendi…
Update: white journalists still not seeing the irony of demanding Wilson-Raybould give office back
OTTAWA – a survey of the dozens of white mainstream media journalists currently writing angry editorials about Jody Wilson Raybould refusing to vacate an office that does not belong to her …
Scheer checks into rehab for milk addiction
OTTAWA – Former Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer has checked himself into a treatment center for his milk addiction. “After a conversation with my kids, my loved ones, and my friends…
Liberals to finally repeal law requiring nation’s mothers to call us every time someone they know gets cancer
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party announced today that they will finally move forward to repeal the ‘Have You Heard About’ Law, which requires every Canadian mother to immediately phon…
Public advised of aggressive panhandler from Alberta who will probably just spend money on corporate tax cuts
OTTAWA – Police are advising the Canadian public to stay away from an aggressive panhandler from Alberta asking for billions and blocking any forward progress if his demands are not met. Th…
Fighting dirty, Andrew Scheer refuses to give Tories who don’t support him any of his homemade fudge
OTTAWA – Taking a stand against Conservatives who have called on him to stand down as leader, Andrew Scheer has been going to party meetings around the country with a tray of homemade fudge…
Leaked video confirms Trudeau’s status as the Regina George of NATO
LONDON – A leaked video in which Justin Trudeau is seen mocking President Donald Trump has confirmed the long suspected rumour that Trudeau is queen bee of NATO’s infamous Mean (heads…
Trudeau confident in climate action plan of “being dead by then”
OTTAWA – Responding to increasing concerns over climate change, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has doubled-down on his strategy of already being deceased by the time the apocalypse fully kicks in.…
