KINGSTON – Correctional Service Canada has instituted an adoption program to find new prisons for the 494 inmates currently held at Kingston Penitentiary when the facility closes after 178 …
National
REPORT: Dudes called ‘Boomer’ nearing extinction
OTTAWA – A report issued yesterday by the International Institute for Endangered Nicknames announced that the global population of dudes nicknamed “Boomer” has reached an all ti…
Elizabeth May expels herself from caucus for not toeing party line
OTTAWA – MP Elizabeth May will now sit as an independent after being booted from the single-member Green Party caucus by herself earlier this morning. Green Party leader Elizabeth May said …
Study: Winnipeg still exists
Somewhere in Manitoba – Researchers have determined that a city once thought to be lost in the Manitoban wilderness is continuing to endure. The existence of Winnipeg [pronounced “Win-uh-pe…
Harper vows to work closely with CRA to ensure future corruption occurs only internally
OTTAWA – The Harper Government is responding to the recent Revenue Canada Agency scandal in which nearly $400,000 in rebates was issued to a member of a reputed mobster by promising to work…
BREAKING: Canada Revenue Agency will pay Canadians $500 to keep quiet about mob tax return
OTTAWA – The federal agency that oversees tax collection has promised all 35 million Canadians a nice bonus if they keep quiet about a $381,737.46 tax rebate given to former mob boss Nicolo…
NDP attack ad on Trudeau: He acts like he’s all hot but he’s not even that hot
Earlier this week, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair confirmed that his party would run negative campaign ads against Liberal leader Justin Trudeau, targeting him for his track record of “not being that …
PROROGATION UPDATE: John Baird finds some rocks and trees to scream at
OTTAWA – (DAY FOUR) With the House of Commons empty until October 16th, Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird has been forced to retreat into the wilderness in order to find things to yell…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Bored Mulcair messes around with beard
OTTAWA – (DAY 3) MP and official leader of the opposition, Thomas Mulcair, spent all of yesterday “gettin’ crazy” with his facial hair confident he’d be able to grow…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Harper to spend duration sitting naked in a freezer
OTTAWA – (DAY TWO) In preparation for a month away from the House of Commons, Canada’s Prime Minister has entered the industrial freezer he had installed in the basement of 24 Sussex drive …
