HALTON – A group of misinformed high school students are commemorating the contributions Canadian soldiers they didn’t actually make on the shores of a beach in Vietnam some seventy years a…
National
Staunch New Democrat to vote Liberal again
TORONTO – Despite considering himself a strong supporter of the New Democratic Party, local voter Jason Poulos plans to cast his ballot for the Liberals in the upcoming election, as he has …
Feds wish someone, anyone would do something about missing aboriginal women
OTTAWA – A statement released today by the department of Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development has called on “somebody, please” to do something about the fact that hundreds of aborigi…
Winking Tim Hudak says he won’t cut health care
ONTARIO – At a press conference earlier today, Tim Hudak once again told reporters that he wouldn’t consider cutting Ontario’s health care budget, while winking repeatedly and shaking his h…
Andrea Horwath confirms she is not a Conservative, unless that would get your vote
TORONTO – At a press conference repudiating the NDP’s core principles on Tuesday, Andrea Horwath assured Ontarians that she is not a Progressive Conservative unless that’s what the voters w…
Ontario Liberals announce election platform of things they could have easily done before now
THUNDER BAY, ON – At a campaign stop on Sunday the provincial Liberal party announced what they would do if elected to govern Ontario for the next few years, pretty much all of which they c…
CBC renews ‘the news’ for another season
TORONTO — In spite of massive budget cuts and the cancellation of several long-running programs, including the flagship Hockey Night in Canada and George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight, the CBC recent…
Nation unsure if container in fridge contains margarine or leftovers
CANADA – Millions of Canadians who opened their fridge today looking for the margarine were unsure if the round container they found enclosed actual margarine or leftovers from past meals. …
Family spends entire long weekend stuck in traffic
TORONTO – The Warringtons of Toronto, Ontario got away from the big city over the long weekend by sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic as a family. “This was a bonding experience for us,” sa…
Hazel McCallion endorses Liberals, O’Carthy’s Immortality Serum
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Citing a lack of other credible candidates and a smooth-drinking, life-extending flavour, 93-year-old Mississauga Mayor Hazel McCallion has thrown her influence behind bot…
