BEIJING – Chinese state-sponsored hackers were disappointed after hacking into Canadian government and business research archives and discovering they contained little to no valuable inform…
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Study: 9 out of 10 people on fire don’t care about conflict in Middle East
EDMONTON – A new study has found high levels of apathy among Canadians towards the ongoing violence and chaos in Gaza, as 90% of individuals whose skin was currently ablaze with flames said…
Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer
OTTAWA – The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong pr…
Jason Kenney accuses SPCA of anti-Semitism after taking soft stance on Israel
OTTAWA – Minister of Employment Jason Kenney has had enough of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals long history of remaining silent on Israeli-Palestinian affairs. “Listen, I don…
Harper slams Chief Justice on choice of outfit
OTTAWA – In the latest jab of his ongoing feud with Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Beverley McLachlin, Prime Minister Harper has slammed the jurist for her choice of outfit. “We think t…
‘Smoke’s’ announces it will now throw out half of your poutine for you
CANADA – Lover’s of Smoke’s Poutinerie nation-wide are breathing a joint sigh of relief, as the company implements a new service policy letting them throw out half of each pouti…
Citing need to appeal to younger demographic, Edmonton rebrands itself “edmntn”
EDMONTON – City officials announced this week that Edmonton would be undergoing a radical “re-branding” aimed at attracting younger residents and improving its klout score. R…
Telus animals seized in exotic baby animal smuggling ring
VANCOUVER – Vancouver police and the BC SPCA have uncovered a sophisticated exotic baby animal smuggling ring and arrested several Telus marketing executives who are implicated. “Telus was …
RCMP: Mike Duffy charged with accepting a bribe from nobody in particular
OTTAWA – RCMP officials announced this morning that suspended senator Mike Duffy will face 31 charges, namely accepting a $90,000 bribe from some guy, or woman, perhaps, who probably isn’t …
Payday lenders refuse to loan Ontario government money
Following the new budget tabled by the Liberal government, leading payday lenders confirmed today they would not extend loans to the Province of Ontario. “Even at the 49.99% interest we charge, w…
