RICHMOND HILL, ON – After a shaky start to her new year’s resolutions, a local woman’s diet progress collapsed when her popcorn ceiling started to look devilishly tempting. Helena Miller re…
Lifestyle
Makeup-free woman actually is pretty tired, thank you for noticing
TORONTO – Felicity McMurray, 33, was overwhelmed with gratitude on Monday after she accidentally left the house without makeup and received constant concerned observations about how utterly…
Addict says she can stop bullet journaling anytime
RICHMOND HILL, ON – This past Monday, frantic university student Hanna Bambas reiterated to a group of concerned peers that she does not have a problem and can stop bullet journaling anytim…
New fitness trend: Making it out of a forest alive
HUNTSVILLE, ON – In the midst of ‘high intensity’ workout trends, there’s a new fitness program that aims to get people out into nature and hitting their fitness targets. “Survival Paleo” …
Woman always on vacation in your Instagram feed actually cocaine smuggler
PLAYA DEL CARMEN, MEXICO – After taking a series selfies in a tropical beach paradise, the gorgeous woman in your Instagram feed who always seems to be on vacation loaded a boat full of coc…
Toronto’s hottest rooftop patio is already at capacity, sorry
Toronto’s newest, hottest, and most exclusive rooftop patio is Queue. Located on the rooftop of a now defunct travel agency, Queue offers a post-industrial boho chic vibe with the standard 80 ite…
Sixth in line to meaningless figurehead role marries fourth lead in middling legal dramedy
WINDSOR, UK – In an elaborate and lavish spectacle watched by millions around the world today, an irrelevant member of an obsolete class system wedded a heretofore little-known cast member of the…
Woman’s involved nighttime skincare routine enters 4th excruciating hour
RED DEER, AB – Well past midnight on Tuesday, Sara Ahmadi braced herself to begin her fourth hour of skincare. “I think I originally adopted this nighttime routine as a means of self-care, …
Local woman pushing to meet work/life balance targets by Q2
TORONTO — Local business analyst Sandra Young reportedly has her nose to the grindstone this month in an attempt to hit her target work/life balance ratio of 60:40 by Q2. Young, whose curre…
Popular girl you thought would peak in high school reportedly still killin’ it
CASTOR, AB – Reports early this afternoon have indicated that the popular, intelligent, and beloved girl you thought would reach her social peak in high school is still absolutely killing i…
