TORONTO – McDonald’s Canada announced today that it will begin serving all-day breakfast in order to stress-test the country’s socialized healthcare system. The menu will feature a selectio…
Health
Man riding elliptical like it killed his family
SUDBURY, ON – Grunting audibly as the machine threatened to topple under his force, local man, Jeremy Gaston, 36, was seen riding an elliptical runner at a nearby gym this week in a way tha…
Health Canada concerned about possible outbreak of white men wearing shorts in winter
White guys wearing shorts in winter, is it an epidemic? Catch this week’s new episode of The Beaverton at 10pm EST, Wednesday on The Comedy Network.…
SHOCKING: Veteran suffering from PTSD gets help he needs
OTTAWA – In an event Veterans Affairs officials are calling “unnerving and disturbing” sources say a man diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after serving two tours of duty in Afg…
Justin Trudeau’s Liberals discover a new health benefit of medical marijuana
Tonight at 10pm ET on The Comedy Network: Justin Trudeau’s Liberals discover a new health benefit of medical marijuana.…
Cure for cancer? These doctors eradicate cancer cells using only scalpels, radiation, and chemotherapy
Big news: using only traditional methods like scalpels, radiation and chemotherapy, a group of doctors at University of Alberta have managed to cure cancer in some patients. This could save milli…
Once again millions of Canadians literally forget how to drive after first snowfall
OTTAWA – Ministry of Transportation offices across Canada are once again finding themselves overrun with what has become a familiar sight each winter, as hundreds of thousands of Canadians …
Local woman turns to Pinterest to plan perfect hysterectomy
BRAMPTON, ON- Looking to get all the latest tips, tricks and fashions, Brampton woman, Doreen McFay, is using popular app Pinterest to plan her perfect hysterectomy. She is part of a growing tren…
75% of stuff in parents’ cupboards just things to make pooping easier
REGINA – A study conducted by scientists at the University of Regina has found that a full 75% of the items found in the nation’s parents’ cupboards serve the sole purpose of making the eva…
Health Canada to crack down on vaping in order to stop nation from looking lame
OTTAWA – The federal government plans to regulate the sale and consumption of e-cigarettes in order to stop Canadians from looking like a bunch of assholes all the time. “There are simply t…
