NIAGARA FALLS – A new study released by the University of Buffalo has shown that the fish swimming in the Niagara River have free and unlimited access to a number of antidepressants and oth…
Health
Excessive cellphone use preventing teens from developing basic skulking skills
STOCKHOLM – A study published this week by the University of Gothenburg’s Sahlgrenska Academy states that cellphone use in teenagers drastically inhibits the development of young adults’ ba…
Local man fails to lose weight despite thinking about working out for over a week
RED DEER – Roger Monroe has reported being frustrated by his failure to lose weight despite following a strict regimen of imagining what it would be like to go to the gym a lot for a full 1…
Kid not allowed to eat candy reports apples ‘fun snack’
TORONTO- Biting into cut up pieces of honeycrisp prepared by his health conscious parents, local six year old, Thurman Jackson, made news this week after officially declaring apples a “fun snack.…
Local man postpones checkup with doctor to eat three-cheese panzerotti
HAMILTON, ON – After deliberating for several months on if he should schedule a much-needed physical, Jeff Turcott has decisively purchased a mouth-watering panzerotti instead. “I can make an app…
Chiropractor not going to let the lack of medical training, education get in the way of medical advice
WINNIPEG – Overcoming all odds stacked against her, local chiropractor Kristy St. Laurent has been giving her patients advice about vaccines, toxicology, autism, water fluoridation, and oth…
Loose cannon health inspector asked to hand in his digital thermometer
CAMROSE, AB – A renegade public health inspector who is known for bending the rules to get the bottom of his cases has been asked to hand in his badge and digital thermometer by his superio…
Local man who owns kettlebell somehow still completely out of shape
CALGARY – After possessing a twenty-five pound kettlebell for over three years, Patrick Donaldson continues to lack anything that one could describe as fitness. “I’m as shocked as you are”, said …
How to enjoy hot yoga when that heating panel could fall on you at any moment
Hot yoga is a great activity for your mind and body. Here’s how to get the most out of it, despite the fact that the large heating panels suspended from the ceiling could come down and crush you …
5 home remedies to keep that tick firmly embedded in your skin
Got a tick and want to keep it firmly embedded into your skin for a while? Try these 5 home remedies that will help it stay firmly planted. Duct tape That little critter isn’t going anywhere by w…
