FLORIDA — Tragedy struck this week after famous billionaire Harold Yates was found mauled to death in a swamp. Investigations into his death revealed that the 85-year-old oil tycoon had died afte…
Dumb Week
13 soups perfect for winter weather, which is four more than the cowards at Chatelaine recommend
Do the winter blues have you down? Don’t worry, because nothing staves off the darkness of another long night like a cozy cup of hot soup! Here are 13 of our favourites, which is far more than th…
Scientists say giant spiders are the future for both food and transportation
OTTAWA, ON – A new report out of the National Research Council says that the solution to growing challenges in transportation and food sectors may well be the same thing: giant spiders. Wit…
Air Canada reconvenes meeting of the Four Elemental Canadas
MONTREAL – Air Canada, Canada’s largest airline by fleet size, summoned its elemental brethren to the Four Seasons Hotel Montreal this week for their annual meeting to discuss the affairs o…
Local man returns cloud for refund after silver lining turns out to be stainless steel
Just Outside of HOPE, BC ― Local third-grade teacher Jude Thompson was reimbursed for a cloud this week, after he discovered that the dark mass of suspended water droplets, given to him by his pa…
Look who’s joining the cast of season 2 of Bridgerton: the Ask Jeeves butler
HOLLYWOOD – The season 2 cast of the Netflix breakout show Bridgerton has been released, announcing new comer: the Ask Jeeves Butler. Best known for his work as the gentleman’s gentle…
Renaissance fair cancelled due to supply chain mail issues
HALIFAX – After months of ye olde stocking issues, Halifax Annual Renaissance Faireth has proclaimed the event will be cancelled due to insurmountable supply chain mail issues. The yearly g…
Local cat gets his best ideas at 3am
ST. JOHN’S, NF — Local cat Barney Gabriel Boudreault has shared that he gets his best ideas at three o’clock in the morning. “They say an artist can’t afford to wait around for inspiration,…
FreshCo and Food Basics announce they are actually two different places
MISSISSAUGA/TORONTO – The discount grocery store chains FreshCo and Food Basics have released a joint statement stating unequivocally that they are two different grocery stores, and not the…
Guitar sitting in your closet can’t wait to get to second bass
YOUR APARTMENT – After reaching first bass, the guitar in your closet expressed impatience and the thrill at the prospect of reaching second bass. “Oooh boy I’m so excited to touch their bo…