New Glasgow, NS — All hallow’s eve is looking to be bathed in a sea of yellow hazmat suits and bowler hats as the most sought after costume for children 13-and-under is a meth dealer.…
Culture
Everyone you hate is excited about the Entourage movie
CANADA – A brief look over your social media platforms has confirmed that everyone you find personally repellent is looking forward to the movie spinoff of the TV show Entourage. “Bro, Siii…
Caught up in hype campaign for ‘Reflektor’, Arcade Fire realizes they forgot to record an album
MONTREAL – Arcade Fire’s lead singer Win Butler has admitted that the hype campaign in the lead up to his band’s latest album, “Reflektor”, was so intense that they didn’t have time to rec…
Chris Hadfield ejected from movie theatre for loudly heckling Gravity
WATERLOO, ON – Responding to numerous patron complaints, the staff of the Empire Theatres Waterloo reportedly removed famed Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield after he would not stop heckling a sc…
After 40 years Steve Miller admits no one ever called him the Gangster of Love
Friday Harbour, Washington – At a press conference in front of his home legendary singer and blues guitarist Steve Miller admitted that, despite the claim in his famous song ‘The Joker’ no …
Doctor Who fans celebrate release of long lost unwatchable episodes
Following the discovery of several 1960’s era Doctor Who tapes previously thought destroyed, Who fans are eagerly awaiting the release of the dated and plodding episodes that will undoubtedly be …
Rick Springfield arrested for stalking Jessie’s Girl
LOS ANGELES — Rick Springfield was arrested this week for violating the terms of a restraining order against the woman known only as ‘Jessie’s Girl.’ Few knew the 1980s ro…
Ben Mulroney cast in Justin Trudeau biopic
Producers for the upcoming Justin Trudeau biopic “Justin: our hero, our saviour, our next prime minister” have revealed that Ben Mulroney will be taking on the titular role. At a press conference…
As Breaking Bad ends, office coffee machine prepares for life of loneliness
MONTREAL – The coffee machine at Boundless Publishing where, for the better part of six years, everyone stood around discussing Breaking Bad, is prepared for a solitary post-Walter White ex…
