TORONTO – After a short two episode run, little watched and poorly advertised Canadian television program, the Canadian Screen Awards, was cancelled by the CBC today. “Unfortunately, given …
Culture
Unbelievably cool 19-year-old names pet kitten Kerouac
TORONTO – Sources close to thoughtful, highly literate, yet whimsical 19-year-old Kyle Wendcott alerted press yesterday that in a characteristically tasteful move, he has named his new pet …
Harold Ramis becomes world’s funniest Class 5 Free-Roaming Vapour
CHICAGO – Early yesterday morning, surrounded by family and loved ones, acclaimed comedy writer/director Harold Ramis, age 69, crossed over to officially become the spirit world’s most hilarious …
Oscar organizers begin thawing of Jack Nicholson
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — With the Oscars tonight, Hollywood cryogenicists are quickly defrosting of 79-year-old legendary film actor Jack Nicholson to attend. The acclaimed Batman and Terms of Endearm…
Man frantically enjoying Woody Allen movies while he still can
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Refusing all social invitations and ordering in his meals, local resident Bill Grenley, 32, is reportedly savouring the last few precious moments he has to fully enjoy Wood…
Nation responds to Ellen Page coming out as gay: ‘Okay, cool’
OTTAWA – After learning the news that Canadian actress Ellen Page, best known for her role in Juno, is gay, the nation agreed that it was ‘good’. “I didn’t know she was gay but now I do,” H…
Communist baby-eater Drake tired of media misconstruing his opinions
LOS ANGELES – Communist and notorious eater of human babies Drake, made headlines today when he announced over Twitter his decision to no longer do interviews due to the misinterpretation o…
La Poutine Week: Most popular dishes
Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa and Quebec City will be hosting La Poutine Week from February 1st until the 7th. Here are some of the more popular dishes being served: Poutini 5 parts french fries, 3 p…
Fabio announces plans to not stand shirtless on a mountaintop
MILAN – In a startling career move, the Italian model, spokesman and actor Fabio Lanzoni announced earlier today that his next project would be to not stand topless on the peak of a mountai…
