BURBANK, CA – When faced with a category of questions about Canadian geography, an American contestant on a recent episode of Jeopardy refused to provide any answers, instead choosing to lo…
Culture
Marvel announces film schedule through 43rd century AD
LOS ANGELES – Shortly after announcing a schedule of their upcoming films until 2019, Marvel Studios has released a new schedule, this one with every film planned for the next 41 centuries.…
Report: Hozier late for church
NEWCASTLE, IRELAND – Despite numerous pleas for friends, family, and music fans worldwide to “take (him) to church”, 2015 Grammy nominee Hozier has reportedly missed the start of Sunday mass. “I …
11 Things Only Polish Nurses Will Understand
No one does shift work like a Saskatchewanian Pole. 1. Little ones love your ‘Babci’ smile. commons.wikimedia.org 2. Attending physicians can never pronounce your name. pixabay.com “Is it Rib-sk…
Comedian deftly handles heckler’s demand to see boobs by being male
TORONTO – Local stand-up comedian Jeff Brian told reporters today how he swiftly and professionally dealt with a rowdy audience member repeatedly shouting “show us your tits” by being a mal…
Hollywood hires younger actress to play Maggie Gyllenhaal
LOS ANGELES – After concerns about natural human aging surfaced earlier this week, studio executives are now seeking a younger actress to play Maggie Gyllenhaal. “We love Maggie, we really …
Harry Potter themed wedding begins with murder of groom’s parents
FREDERICTON – The themed wedding of Jane Danson and Peter Hartford, set in the wizarding world of Harry Potter, was reported to be “beautiful” and “heartwarming” despite the ceremony commen…
Local artist paid with, dies from, exposure
TORONTO – In the early hours of yesterday morning, local artist Sue Jolley was found dead of exposure mere days after being paid with the same. “We’re all shocked by this, but contrary to p…
Q rebranded as q after caps lock button is laid off in latest round of CBC budget cuts
TORONTO –– After caps lock keys accepted buyouts in the CBC’s latest round of budget cuts, the public broadcaster announced on Wednesday that the radio show Q would henceforth be known as q. “we …
Mike Holmes breaks into house to check if it has knob and tube wiring
TORONTO – Famous contractor and television host Mike Holmes has allegedly furthered his hatred of knob and tube wiring by forcing his way into a local residence to check out the electrical …
