ELORA, ON – In a promising case that has the scientific community cautiously optimistic, local man Kyle Redding appears to be no worse off for his decision not to watch Marvel’s Netfl…
Culture
Paw Patrol investigated for sexist hiring practices
ADVENTURE BAY – Paw Patrol, a team of pups that save the day whenever there’s a problem, is under investigation by the Adventure Bay Human Rights Bureau for sexist hiring practices. Ryder, …
Hottest Spring Trend: Getting sick right before you have an event you can’t get out of
NEW YORK – This just in, spring’s hottest trend has nothing to do with bomber jackets or skinny jeans and everything to do with your immune system. Famous trend forecaster Jil Whitman has o…
6 tips on staying fashionable while stuck on a 12 storey high crane hook
We’ve all been there – stuck on top of a crane hook 120 feet in the air teetering above a city. But what should you wear for the occasion? Here are 6 sensible fashion tips that just screams…
Fox News limits hosts to 5 sexual harassment scandal maximum
NEW YORK – Following their decision to fire popular pundit Bill O’Reilly, Fox News has announced they are setting a “hard limit” of 5 sexual harassments for all remaining on-air talent. Aft…
Dust blown off Porky’s tapes from coast to coast as nation celebrates Canadian Film Day
OTTAWA – Canadians from all across the country came together to celebrate Canadian Film Day by digging their old VHS copies of 1981 sex comedy Porky’s out from storage. “Porky’s wasn’t my f…
Wife’s affair gives husband time to finally catch up on Netflix queue
Dartmouth, NS – After finding definitive proof his wife was having an extramarital affair, local husband Nathan Wexler is using his newly freed up evenings to catch up on his Netflix queue.…
Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival
INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …
Jennifer Lawrence hopes Tommy Grant of Glendale, AZ asks her to prom
BEVERLY HILLS — A-List Hollywood actress Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly waiting for an elaborate viral promposal video from 17-year-old high school student Tommy Grant, of Glendale, Arizon…
Jian Ghomeshi announces new podcast that will download to players without your consent
TORONTO – After being acquitted of multiple sexual assault charges last year, disgraced Q host Jian Ghomeshi is getting back into broadcasting with a podcast that your iPhone will download …
