DUBLIN – Notable Irish band U2 announced this week that their upcoming album will be released exclusively to Google Home users as a compulsory free download titled “Hey Google, Turn On All …
Culture
Television cast too attractive
LOS ANGELES – In a wanton disregard for verisimilitude, casting directors announced the leading cast for an upcoming medical drama on Friday, which, according to sources, will feature actor…
Mystery novelist pretty sure readers won’t suspect character who is heir to vast fortune
KAMLOOPS — Novelist April Washington just published her latest murder mystery, and she’s pretty sure readers won’t suspect the character who is heir to several mansions, a collection of priceless…
Disney executives pleased to announce acquisition of PornHub
MONTREAL – Expanding their media streaming portfolio, Disney executives announced Tuesday that the company has acquired Canadian adult entertainment site, Pornhub. The entertainment behemot…
Disney in negotiations to purchase false sense of ownership from Star Wars fans
BURBANK, CA – After a period of protest Disney is moving to consolidate its ownership of Star Wars from a group of aggrieved not-actually-shareholders. “When we purchased Star Wars fr…
Love hack! Pete Davidson got a tattoo of everyone he met until someone agreed to marry him
After a whirlwind three week romance, comedian Pete Davidson and pop messiah Ariana Grande are engaged! But how did their relationship escalate from DMs to ‘I do’s’? Davidson lets us in on his li…
Rich dad greenlights new independent film
VANCOUVER, BC – The Canadian indie film world is abuzz today, following the announcement that local filmmaker Michael Fischer’s rich dad has greenlit production on indie dramedy, “Adulting,…
Disneyland creates immersive fairytale experience by turning workers into feudal serfs
Anaheim, CA – Taking the lead in the new immersive entertainment trend, Disneyland has begun treating their workers like peasants to provide park goers with an authentic feudal experience t…
Drake: “I only love my bed and my mom and abortions”
TORONTO — After a scathing diss track by rapper Pusha T unearthed texts from Drake to a secret lover telling her to abort their child, Drake has amended a popular lyric from his hit song “G…
Samantha Bee apologizes for calling shitbag a cunt
NEW YORK CITY – Comedian Samantha Bee and TBS have issued an apology for calling noted shitbag Ivanka Trump a “feckless cunt” during a segment of “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee” about the …
