OTTAWA – Darcy Chen’s first visit to the National Gallery of Canada quickly became sidetracked by the appearance of a mystery woman whose subtle head movement indicated she knew more about …
Culture
Justin Trudeau living embodiment of what happens when theatre kids aren’t bullied enough
OTTAWA – In a dire warning issued yesterday, Canada’s theatre students and their high school bullies joined together in pointing to Justin Trudeau as the single worst embodiment of what can…
Fantasy fans demand Rings of Power match House of the Dragon’s incest levels
HOLLYWOOD – Which team are you on — The Rings of Power, or House of the Dragon? For fantasy fans, there’s only one correct answer: whichever has more relatives doing each other. Dozens of o…
Local contrarian takes immense pleasure from people’s expressions upon learning he’s never seen Star Wars
GRAVENHURST, ON ― Local middle manager and willful snob Kenneth Thomas had a fantastic time last night, when a party he attended gave him a chance to casually reveal to a host of new people that …
Shocking Grand Theft Auto VI leak reveals new game set in Regina
REGINA – A massive leak of footage from Grand Theft Auto VI has surprised gamers by revealing that the game will be set in a thinly disguised proxy of Regina, Saskatchewan. Videos posted on YouTu…
25% off sale on pants actually just regular price capris
TORONTO – Controversy arose this week at a downtown location of the popular retailer Urban Outfitters, as a “25% Off Pants” sale was revealed to be a rack of regularly priced capri pants. Shopper…
Wedding could have been an email
CALGARY — Eye witnesses indicate the wedding celebration of local couple Katy Myer and Brad Pedrad could absolutely have just been an email instead. “The entire time I was thinking: do I need to …
JK Rowling releases new book where Umbridge is the hero
EDINBURGH, UK – Author JK Rowling has released a new book featuring a retelling of the Harry Potter story, but from the point of view of one of her most hated characters, Professor Dolores …
Top 3 Arcade Fire albums to listen to super quick before they’re officially canceled
While it might come as a shock to anyone who isn’t a young woman who frequents hipster bars in Montreal, a bombshell article released on Pitchfork has reported that multiple women have come forwa…
Game of Thrones prequel swears it’s changed, baby, won’t break your heart again
HOLLYWOOD — House of the Dragon, a new Game of Thrones prequel, has recently been spotted outside the windows of former fans of the epic fantasy series, holding a sign that said “I swear I’…
