It’s never been a better time to pick up some sturdy essentials that will keep you cute and cozy through a period of severe and prolonged global cooling brought on by a nuclear catastrophe! 1. A …
Culture
Modern Renaissance man? This guy is a painter AND a geocentrist
EDMONTON – According to local sources, polymath Alan Fowler never ceases to amaze everyone he meets with his incredible artistic talent, deep knowledge of classical literature, and unshakeable be…
This episode of Family Feud Canada features cast of two more CBC shows you won’t watch
TORONTO – Hold on to your hats Canada, this latest season of Family Feud Canada you won’t watch is kicking off with a special all-star episode featuring the cast of two more CBC shows you w…
Out of respect to victims’ families, Ryan Murphy to donate portion of Dahmer profits to anyone who ever watched Glee
LOS ANGELES – In response to criticism of insensitivity toward victims, Dahmer showrunner Ryan Murphy has vowed to donate a portion of his series profits to anyone who ever watched Glee. “I see n…
Woman tilting her head in art gallery must really know her shit
OTTAWA – Darcy Chen’s first visit to the National Gallery of Canada quickly became sidetracked by the appearance of a mystery woman whose subtle head movement indicated she knew more about …
Justin Trudeau living embodiment of what happens when theatre kids aren’t bullied enough
OTTAWA – In a dire warning issued yesterday, Canada’s theatre students and their high school bullies joined together in pointing to Justin Trudeau as the single worst embodiment of what can…
Fantasy fans demand Rings of Power match House of the Dragon’s incest levels
HOLLYWOOD – Which team are you on — The Rings of Power, or House of the Dragon? For fantasy fans, there’s only one correct answer: whichever has more relatives doing each other. Dozens of o…
Local contrarian takes immense pleasure from people’s expressions upon learning he’s never seen Star Wars
GRAVENHURST, ON ― Local middle manager and willful snob Kenneth Thomas had a fantastic time last night, when a party he attended gave him a chance to casually reveal to a host of new people that …
Shocking Grand Theft Auto VI leak reveals new game set in Regina
REGINA – A massive leak of footage from Grand Theft Auto VI has surprised gamers by revealing that the game will be set in a thinly disguised proxy of Regina, Saskatchewan. Videos posted on YouTu…
25% off sale on pants actually just regular price capris
TORONTO – Controversy arose this week at a downtown location of the popular retailer Urban Outfitters, as a “25% Off Pants” sale was revealed to be a rack of regularly priced capri pants. Shopper…
