FORKS, WA – Fifteen years after the vampire-romance novel Twilight was published, author Stephanie Meyer has announced that a prequel will be released this August. The news of the upcoming …
Entertainment
Calgary Stampede cancelled, chuckwagon horses to be euthanized anyway
CALGARY – After announcing that the Calgary Stampede would be cancelled for the first time in its 108-year history due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Stampede organizers were at pains to stress …
Comedy community rallies to create online show that people will also not watch
SKYPE – In a heartwarming story of determination, the local comedy community has rallied together to create an online show that people will also not watch. “I just started thinking of all t…
Celebrity reassures other celebrities that it’s okay to be totally fine right now
LOS ANGELES – In a group chat with a long list of like-minded famous acquaintances, multi-platinum recording artist John Legend assured his fellow celebrities that they could not be faulted…
Nation’s parents lured back inside houses with promise of Jeopardy re-runs
OTTAWA – Reports indicate that many among the older generation have not been adhering to warnings from health officials to self-isolate. As a result, most have resorted to luring their parents ba…
Netflix’s “Are You Still Watching” only social contact in days
CANADA – As coronavirus social distancing approaches its second full week, single-person households across the country report Netflix’s autoprompt reminding them that they are alone – so, s…
Celebrities selflessly contribute to public morale by releasing insipid video for everyone to mock
LOS ANGELES – Much of the world may be on lockdown due to the coronavirus, but famous people from around the globe are doing their bit to keep spirits high by making an inane video of them …
Man spends entire movie thinking about how badly he needs to pee
REGINA – After consuming a large Diet Coke during the commercials, trivia game and previews local man Desmond Mathune spent the entirety of his two hour movie watching experience thinking a…
Mothers Against Head Crushing boycott impending Kids in the Hall revival
TORONTO – Canadian comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall are returning to the small screen for an 8 episode revival on Amazon Prime Video. The news of the show’s reboot elicited a heated boyco…
Timothee Chalamet will now play every human on earth by 2023
LOS ANGELES – Following his successful portrayal of Henry V in The King and the announcement that he will be playing Bob Dylan in an upcoming biopic, Timothee Chalamet has announced that he…
