OTTAWA – A poll conducted among the that-one-unbearable-person-on-Facebook demographic has shown that the Conservative party is polling above 95%. “Polls of people with any basic decency sh…
Canada Votes 2015
New polls definitively show NDP will win or lose
CANADA – Newly released polls are showing that the NDP have a very strong chance of winning the upcoming federal election, and simultaneously no chance at all. “The NDP have been poll…
Harper polling well in sought-after ‘corrupt’ demographic
OTTAWA – As the senate expense trial continues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has seen his support drop in most demographics, but he has also seen a steep rise among Canada’s corrupt. “Some…
Harper pledges all Conservative candidates will be potty trained by time they take office
OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Harper renames Mount Logan to Mount Denial
WHITEHORSE – Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially changed the name of Mount Logan to Mount Denial when he visited the Yukon capital city earlier this week. The announcement comes…
Chris Alexander asks Syrian refugees to wait six more weeks until Conservatives re-elected
AJAX — Citizenship and Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has told refugees escaping war-torn Syria and Iraq to hang tight until the Conservatives are given another majority government by…
Tom Mulcair shows off ‘Game of Thrones’ tattoos at Fan Expo
TORONTO – New Democratic Party leader, Thomas Mulcair, visited Fan Expo today in Toronto, ingratiating himself to thousands of science fiction, fantasy, horror, anime, video game and comic …
Justin Trudeau removed by mall security for walking up wrong escalator
OTTAWA — Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau is in hot water after he was removed by mall security after walking up the wrong escalator. Trudeau along with several loitering male teenagers were a…