BRAMPTON, ON – In their ever-increasing efforts to prevent customers from leaving the store without paying for their goods, grocery monolith Loblaws will now force all patrons to consume everythi…
Business
Boeing whistleblower found dead in Boeing plane that spontaneously combusted
CHARLESTON, SC – Boeing employee-turned-whistleblower John Barnett was found dead this weekend after the Boeing plane he was in spontaneously combusted. Barnett was taking the flight to take part…
Conservatives announce that Loblaws will be exclusive distributors of new Porn IDs
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre has already announced an exclusive deal that would see his government’s newly-proposed Porn IDs sold exclusively at Loblaws grocery store…
Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let’s Talk Day
TORONTO – Following the news that Bell Canada Enterprises Inc. is cutting over 4800 jobs, as well as shuttering many local newscasts and radio stations, Bell has assured Canadians the move …
In event of cabin pressure change, air Canada instructs passengers to secure own mask before 360 roundhouse kicking the person next to them
THE SKY – Air Canada has recently released an update to their on-board safety procedures where, in the event of a cabin pressure change, they’re now instructing passengers to 360 roundhouse…
Meeting on grocery prices stalls as CEOs send Trudeau to self-serve negotiator
OTTAWA – A meeting convened with Canada’s top grocery CEOs to discuss soaring prices stalled this week, as the executives directed Trudeau to conduct his own discussion with their automated…
To combat self-checkout theft, stores experimenting with new human cashier pilot program
OAKVILLE, ON – Following a rise in self-checkout theft driven by increased prices, a consortium of Canadian retailers announced a new experimental pilot program replacing self-checkouts wit…
Read our letter threatening to sue Mark Zuckerberg
Meta was stopping people from seeing our content so we took action…
Canada’s grocery companies pretending not to hear about falling inflation rate
OTTAWA – Statistics Canada reports that the national inflation rate has fallen for a second consecutive month, and the nation’s grocery stores are dutifully pretending not to hear about it.…
Loblaws raises price of bread to exact amount of federal grocery rebate
BRAMPTON – In an effort to help Canadians struggling with inflation, Loblaws announced that they will be permanently pegging the price of bread to the exact amount of money a single adult i…
