FREDERICTON – A Mountie who uses medicinal marijuana couldn’t stop giggling at his red serge when he returned it yesterday pending an unrelated assault trial. “Dude, this is just like……
TED Talk solves third world hunger in first world
BRAMPTON – Attendees left last Saturday’s TEDxBrampton event inspired by John McGeorge’s innovative four-point synergistical plan to solve third world hunger in the first world. In a 12 min…
Montreal police apologize for threatening homeless man, promise to tie him up in better weather
MONTREAL – After recent criticism for their handling of an under dressed homeless person in Montreal by Police during subzero temperatures, the Montreal Police have confirmed that all public iti…
Japanese homeless glowing with gratitude for new jobs cleaning up Fukushima
Sendai, JAPAN – Japanese contractors in charge of cleaning up after the Fukushima nuclear disaster say that the strange glow being emitted by some of the homeless it hired is merely their i…
Parents convince their children that mall Santa’s “funny smell” is juniper berries
Brockville, ON – When Crestview Mall’s Santa Claus showed up to work belligerently drunk and stinking of gin last weekend, parents had to persuade their children that the smell emanating fr…
After 5 years, coroner report concludes that bullets likely killed unarmed teenager shot by Montreal police
MONTREAL – After half a decade of waiting, a Quebec coroner’s report has determined that an unarmed teenager shot by a Montreal police officer in August 2008 most likely died from bullets. …
Industry Minister James Moore, nation’s poor children only have his words to eat
VANCOUVER- After his remarks that his government didn’t have a responsibility to care for poor children drew strong rebukes from nearly all living humans, Industry Minister James Moore was left w…
In honour of former South African President, Obama renames Guantanamo Bay “Mandela Cove”
WASHINGTON – Upon his return from South Africa, President Obama announced his plan to honour Nelson Mandela by changing the name of the military prison Guantanamo Bay to “Mandela Cove”. “As I sai…
RCMP to find missing PMO emails by asking NSA
OTTAWA – To aid in its investigation of the Duffy-Wright expense scandal, the RCMP is seeking help from the NSA. “We have no working relationship with the PMO, or the Senate,” s…
SA sign language interpreter believed he was at shadow puppet competition
JOHANNESBURG – The man who stands accused of faking sign language during the Nelson Mandela memorial service is claiming that he was actually there for the annual South African Shadow Puppe…
