TORONTO – In an unprecedented use of the crowdfunding site Indiegogo the city of Toronto has come together to obtain the video evidence necessary to undo the humiliation caused by the democ…
Ontario narrowly averts sobriety crisis
TORONTO – A last minute deal between the Ontario Public Service Employees Union (OPSEU) and the Liquor Control Board of Ontario (LCBO) averting a strike that would have prevented Ontarians …
Canadian actor achieves realistic life goal by booking Tim Hortons commercial
TORONTO – 33-year-old Canadian actor David Allister reached his realistic life goal earlier this week when he was booked for a spot on a Tim Hortons commercial. The 30-second ad features Al…
Local mom spends Mother’s Day hoping son forgets to call
REGINA, SK – Greeting card writer and longtime mother, Cindy Watros, spent much of her Mother’s Day, the annual event in which children express gratitude for all their mothers have done for…
Children’s entertainer miraculously revealed not to be a molester
LOS ANGELES – The child entertainment industry was rocked today by the news that late children’s TV personality and host of The Flower Hour Peter Plantman, had, despite his career choice an…
45 minutes into brunch, engaged couple still talking about their seating chart
CALGARY – Nearly an hour into their meal at Cassis Bistro, sources were reporting that engaged couple Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor were still sorting out the details of who would sit where…
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out t…
Nation’s Liberals overwhelmingly elect ‘ehh… I guess’ as their new leader
TORONTO – The members of the Liberal party of Canada reluctantly accepted the inevitable on Sunday, choosing Justin Trudeau as their new leader by a 20,000 vote margin over his closest comp…
Local man finishes whole baguette before it gets stale
NAPANEE, ON – Hospital administrator Justin Trawick accomplished a feat few, if any, thought possible last Saturday when he managed to eat an entire loaf of baguette before the forces of ca…
3 innings into opening night, city of Toronto remembers how boring baseball is
TORONTO – After a frenzied offseason that featured huge trades, marquee free agent signings, and an excitement in the Blue Jays not seen since their back to back World Series championships,…
